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in the hype associated with Valentine’s Day. It was fun to see all the excitement as those in love went out of their way to do and to get that special something for the special person in their life.
From teddy bears, to mugs, perfume, lingeries, T-shirts and office wear to the huge bouquet of flowers — it was gifts galore.
Some went on exclusive and romantic dinners and get aways on Thursday in an effort to show just how much they care.
Speaking to some young men and women around, it was evident that the uppermost thought in their minds was to do and give the best to their partners so as to show them how much they are appreciated.
Looking at one woman ordering very expensive cologne and a man buying several outfits as well as lingerie in one of the departmental shops, I could not help but wonder what it would all be like if men and women cared so much about each other on a daily basis.
I could not help but wonder where people are getting it wrong in relationships.
While Valentine’s Day is also seen as a commercial gimmick meant to rake in thousands of dollars in sales for businesses, truth is when one is remembered on Valentine’s Day — it brings a smile to their face. I don’t know about you but for me, any nice or thoughtful acts by someone for me, are bound to make me melt. So looking at men and women going the extra mile for each other was truly exciting.
And then I began to wonder why so many of our relationships are going wrong when everyone was energetically participating in this foreign practice of Valentine’s Day and evidently enjoying it too. Just recently we heard our judges lamenting the high incidence of divorce in the country.
Every other day we wake up to shocking images in the media showing unbelievable levels that men and women of our time are sinking to.
Other times it can be men beating, or even battering to death, the very women they vowed to protect, care for and love. Or it can be women being caught cheating on their husbands that they vowed to be faithful to?
It seems like marriage and monogamy are no longer words we respect or believe in.
But over this Valentine’s period, I could see people making an effort. I began to wonder as I saw all the excitement, why people do not just make this kind of effort every day. After all, love should be an everyday thing, is that not so?
Or do people generally just make an effort as a way of keeping up appearances? After all we have all heard stories of women who go as far as buying and sending themselves flowers just so everyone at work can be filled with envy. We have also heard of men who buy gifts in twos and threes as they struggle to keep all their different partners happy and content on and around Valentine’s Day. There are also those sad cases of those men who believe Valentine’s Day is something they celebrate only outside of the home.
Married women were in the run-up to Valentine’s Day sharing some chain message which was to the effect that any women having relationships with their men and expecting gifts from their men should be consumed with fire during this Valentine’s Day period. The strongly worded message went on to say any woman with designs on another woman’s man should suffer the horrors of this world.
What struck me was the depth of fear and insecurity that married women constantly live with. What also struck me is that none of the messages suggested dire penalties for men who cheat on their wives. As far as the women who were sharing the message were concerned, the woman involved with their men was the problem.
What all these little situations do is show the challenges that relationships of this time are going through.
It seems we are living in an era where one cannot bask in the love of a partner.
So looking at the period we are in, where many are still basking in the aftermath of romantic dinners under candlelight with a loved one; where they have just been surprised with a cake or flowers or that outfit they were dreaming of; would it not be worth it if we just continue with the Valentine’s Day spirit and open the lines of communication in our relationships and resolve the challenges that are causing the strife?
If you found time and strength to walk around looking for the perfect gift for your partner, then surely there is still hope to solve things.
Why not make love and romance an everyday thing rather than wait for Valentine’s Day which falls once a year?
Rather than deliver a huge bouquet of flowers at your wife’s work or a huge cake at your husband’s workplace once every year, why not do it every other day?
Rather than go for dinner as a couple on V-day only why not set time aside to do it regularly?
Instead of only saying “I love you” during V-Day, why not say it as many times as possible?
Instead of making an effort only during Valentine’s Day, why not make an effort every day?
A hymn I used to love in high school went as follows: “Love is meek and suffers long. Love than death itself more strong.”
So do not give up on your love. As long as you are convinced there is something there, work for it.
Online Reporter