Online Reporter
Fadzayi Maposah-Correspondent
FOR many years, men took a back seat when it came to celebrating themselves.
They tended to think that it was not important to have so much hype around what they could do for themselves.
There are some men who have had the same friends for as long as they can remember, from the pre-school days.
Now with the advent of social media it has been possible to re-connect and stay in touch. There are some women too who have such friends but in my opinion, they are less than men. As one gets older they realise that quality is more important than quantity.
When we were younger it was cool to have a gang of friends and sitting at break time in a circle on the lawn as we had our sandwiches was rather awesome. We would eat, drink, giggle, talk and have fun in that big group. In that big group there would be smaller groups, it could be those who walked together to school or who stayed around the same area. When it came to breaks, the small groups would converge.
Today I want to talk about men though. Last week it was an appreciation article for the good fathers, an early Fathers’ Day present, if you like. When it comes to Fathers’ Day, it may seem low key. Mothers’ Day is well celebrated. There is a build up to the day that is thunderous. There are reminders about the day everywhere. Fathers’ Day on the other day is laid back, it seems like a lazy weekend.
Mothers’ Day would then be the busy working day with a high level meeting that has been prepared for over a long time. Have you realised that fathers can also get low key presents while the presents that their partners got the month before were high key. In the context of the Zimbabwean society, it has been said that men are not particular about such things and that they do not really care if they are pampered or not. Is it true?
Each one of us needs to be appreciated and loved. It is not ideal just to wait for one day of the year to do that though, it has to be done throughout the year. Appreciation does not have to be in the form of big presents only, it can be in the small presents that are filled with a lot of love.
I smiled a few days ago when I heard on the radio that some men were organising a do for men for Fathers’ Day tomorrow. Men doing it for other men. It has to be applauded. We wait for so long for others to do things for us and at times we are disappointed when that does not happen.
These men are making it their business to meet, mix and talk about issues that affect them in an environment that they consider male friendly (yes, they will braai, have drinks and dance to music that they love). I did not hear that there is dress code, so they can dress in a way that makes them comfortable.
There are times that we have neglected the men in our lives and in our society. I think we need to ask the men to forgive us and start on a new page. We have assumed that men are strong and that since they are strong, there are some things that they do not deserve. To those amongst it who have started to appreciate and spoil our men as they deserve, I salute you. To those who are yet to start, just start, once you start, it will get easier, trust me.
As a country we are slowly realising that we have run so many programmes for women and girls and very few for men. Now we are slowly getting to a society where there are highly empowered women who have to deal with men who are not equally empowered. Reproductive health programmes have for many years had interventions that sought the participation of women more than men.
Take HIV testing for example, there were initially many opportunities to test women as compared to men. Women can be tested when they attend ante-natal clinic. Women can also be tested when they go for cancer screening or even family planning services. Integration is the key these days. What about men? We had left them along the way, until they got to a stage where they would claim that their partner’s HIV negative result was a true reflection of their own HIV status.
They however would not claim that the partner’s HIV positive result reflected their own status! Then as a country there were interventions to ensure that the men were incorporated in key programmes. Then began the workplace initiatives, taking services to where the men are.
Organisations began to set budgets for activities that would get men involved. Men’s clinics which are now prevalent were initiated.
At first men thought it was unnecessary attention having a clinic solely for them. When they got there and found male service providers, they were happy. It was good having a man to attend to them without shying away from issues that could have been difficult to explain to a female service provider. Once other men saw others going to the clinic, they realised that it was possible.
Men, doing it for themselves are to be commended. May the trend to do things for yourselves go beyond just Father’s Day.
Let it be something that you do and make time for. It does not have to be something big, it does not have to be expensive.
It may seem as minor but the benefits have a ripple effect, socially, mentally, for one’s health and the health of those around them. Happy Father’s Day! Do things for yourself more!
