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Hie Sis Noe
I AM in a relationship with two men. One is the father of my son and the other is my workmate, who I am very much in love with. We have problems now and then with my baby’s father but that is never the issue with my workmate. The sex is mind-blowing but the problem is that he has two girlfriends. — Worried.
Reply
I have observed that you have not said that you are in love with your son’s father — you give the impression that you are stuck in the relationship because of your son. On the other hand, you state that you are in love with your workmate and the sex is so good that it has caused you to be very happy with him. Although you share a son with the other man, you are not in love with him. What is bothering you is that your workmate is having affairs with two other women apart from you. Am I mistaken to conclude that you are still with him because the sex is so good? Can you see yourself having a future with him? How long will the good sex last? Would he stay with you because of sex? Have you considered taking steps to strengthen the relationship that you are having with your child’s father? Frankly, I think that is what you should do.
I know it is very difficult to have a good relationship if you are not in love, but I believe that your relationship with your child’s father can improve if you take steps to strengthen the relationship with him, and if you cease having sex with your workmate. Have you ever discussed marriage with either of these men? Perhaps you should ask them if they are willing to marry you and see how they will react. In spite of the fact that your workmate gives you great sex, you are only one of his women and I doubt that he will marry you. I really can’t encourage you to continue having a sexual relationship with him. Therefore, I suggest that you bring it to an end. I will be glad to hear from you again.
Hi Sis Noe
I am having an affair with my husband’s best friend because my husband is neglecting my sexual needs. I know it’s wrong and I feel guilty but I can’t stop because he is very good. The other problem is that I am friends with the man’s wife. I don’t know what to do. — Confused.
Reply
You like to have sex. You enjoy it. But doing it with another man is a route to destruction, so end the affair immediately. If you don’t, your husband may find out that you are cheating, and he will not forgive you, and it might be the end of the marriage. I won’t say more.
Hi Sis Noe
I am a 16-year-old boy and my mother does not work, but she always goes out at night and comes in the morning with groceries and sleeps all day. Some relatives have said she is a prostitute and I am beginning to believe it. Should I ask her? — Worried.
Reply
There are things that you have written that I have deleted — sorry I just cannot print them. However, I would like to encourage you to keep close to your relatives. I believe they have your best interest at heart and they would give you the proper guidance. Do not condemn or be disrespectful to your mother. Whatever she does, she is still your mother. You might not like what she is doing, but as you grow older, she may explain everything to you. I wish you well.
Hi Sis Noe
My semen is now thick and porridge like. It used to be watery. Is something wrong with me? — Worried.
Reply
There is no need to stress — this phenomenon is not as sticky as it might seem. Chunky or clumpy semen is normal and probably is not a symptom of a sexually transmitted infection (STI). Semen (a.k.a. cum, ejaculate) can vary in texture, odour, colour, and taste. While biology causes most differences among men, factors such as temperature, physical activity, diet, and recent ejaculations also may have an effect. Semen can also change in consistency and appearance in the minutes after leaving the penis. However, if you notice other symptoms along with a change in the semen you may consider talking with a health care provider.
Hi Sis Noe
I am 22 years old and my boyfriend is 30. I love him very much. He makes me happy but we don’t really see each other often because of some circumstances. He says he is not cheating and I believe him at times, but sometimes he gives me reasons to doubt him. I am a very insecure and jealous girlfriend. He recently got a job and I am very happy for him but inside I am not because I feel he is going to meet some other girl out there. — Uncomfortable.
Reply
If you cannot trust this man the relationship will not work. You have to learn to grow up. Trust, respect and communication are ingredients for a happy relationship. If a couple does not trust each other or respect each other and they don’t communicate the relationship is bound to fail. You say this man has given you reasons not to trust him but you didn’t say what these reasons are. It seems to me that you are immature. You cannot do what so many women try to do and that is to watch their men. And some foolish men try to watch their women, but if a person wants to cheat you could even hire a private detective, it won’t help you. Some women cheat in the kitchen, in the bathroom and in the office to name a few places. If this man loves you, you need not worry. You are afraid that he might see another girl now that he has got a new job. Don’t be silly. Girls will always be around. He will see them and they will see him. Men will always be around. You will see them and they will see you, but that does not mean that a relationship will develop between this man and the girls or between you and the other guys, so stop behaving like a spoilt child who wants her mother for herself.
Bongani Ndlovu