adminCohabitation is all about the couple’s life and the relatives of both the man and the woman are not informed formally of the relationship. It does not need witnesses as compared to other types of marriages. However, this type of union to a greater extent is disadvantageous in the sense that there are no witnesses who will confirm the union of the two if a problem arises as the relatives and the parents are not legally (both in the customary and civil manner) aware of the relationship or union.
If one partner dies the remaining partner does not have a say in the property of the deceased or affairs of the deceased, let alone register their death. Cohabiting couples are all but technically single as their union does not conform either to custom or general law.
For purposes of inheritance, only the children have the right to inherit their father’s or mother’s belongings but through a lot of untold suffering and resistance at the hands of relatives. It is impossible for the remaining partner to register the inheritance or the property of the deceased. If the family of the deceased refuses to co-operate and give/assist the remaining partner to get the death certificate, then the children will suffer for the mistakes of their parents as they will not be able to get birth certificates.
Without a birth certificate, they lose their rights to education and the right to be qualified as orphans because in most cases the relatives of the deceased refuse with the parent’s death certificate which indicates together with the birth certificate the relationship between the orphan and the deceased parent.
In case of a woman being deceased such refusal is informed by non-payment of lobola and they use this as good grounds for property grabbing.
Cohabitation affects the welfare of the children most. This is because sometimes the children are not registered in their father’s surname since the father may refuse responsibility or the paternity of the child. In the event that both parents die, it will be difficult to obtain legal guardianship of the children.
Other women register their children in the name of the father because they are not aware of the consequences especially relating to guardianship of the children. I have seen cases where after separation of these cohabitants, the mother of the children struggles or fails to obtain guardianship of her children; this is because in Zimbabwe, the guardian of a child is the father. So those women who entice their boyfriends to accept paternity/pregnancy responsibility when they are reluctant to do so, must know that they are not doing their child any favour. In the short term you may appear doing the right thing but the situation is just but an accident-in-waiting, an accident that will explode when the child needs a passport and an identity card.
On the other hand, many women think that not having a birth certificate in the name of a boyfriend will disadvantage the child. While this is true, it does not totally disadvantage the child as maintenance can be claimed even if the child is registered in the name of the mother and also for purposes of inheritance, the relatives of the deceased father may/can legitimate the child by way of confirming his/her paternity by submitting affidavits to the responsible courts.
Children born in cohabitation face problems of locating their parents and at the end of the day lose out on potential revenue to pay fees or meet educational needs, food, clothes, shelter and medical attention. It is common that the couple in cohabitation will have children and forget about registering the child till the other spouse dies or both of them are deceased. As individuals, we have to really think about the consequences of cohabitation and think of our children first before anything else.
This usually affects the innocent orphans who are left with nothing to rely on for survival. We have to really sit down and think about this type of union before one gets into it. Some people fail to think about cohabitation because the individual will be considering his or her needs only and forgetting that the result of marriage is children and forget that they have to be prepared for tomorrow which is their future.
If one decides to be involved in cohabitation then they have to be prepared to face the above-mentioned consequences and be able to solve the problems if they arise. We have to be aware of these things especially as parents because if we die our children are left to suffer.
Children have to be registered for birth certificates especially by getting married under the Civil and the Customary Marriages acts. Be aware that once assets are grabbed or abused, children all undergo physical, economic, emotional and psychological abuse like being beaten, scolded, raped and engaging in transactional sex to get money to survive.
Considering all aspects of marriage and child rights protections that we have been discussing in the past weeks, the ball is now in your hands to avoid all these disasters and protect yourself, your spouse and your children. These are our rights and responsibilities.
As an individual, you should put yourself in the shoes of a hen which guards its eggs jealously from the eagle. One has to ask themselves if the marriage they are in will protect their children or not.
Anyone who loves himself/herself, parents and children should never get into such a marriage.
*The writer is the programmes manager at Trinity Project Trust, he also writes for UMthunywa and can be contacted via Email : [email protected], mobile 0773195 055 or land line number 09-883102
Online Reporter