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SHOWING someone “tough love” means being firm with them in a way that should help their well-being. According to Merriam-Webster, tough love is “love or affectionate concern expressed in a stern or unsentimental manner (as through discipline) especially to promote responsible behaviour.”
“It is believed that the term was first used in a 1968 book of the same title by Milliken and Meredith. Since then, tough love has become an everyday phrase as much as it is a psychological concept.
The American Psychological Association clarify what tough love means in psychology. It is aimed at fostering individuals’ well-being. It means requiring the person to act responsibly and seek professional assistance when they are experiencing problems. The oversight and restrictions of personal freedom and privileges must be willingly accepted to be effective.”
Many societies have taken up “tough love” to treat their children and loved ones. However, it is important to note that tough love does not mean abuse and physical violence. There is a myth in local societies that if a man beats up their partner, it is showing love, but that is far from the truth. That is actually being barbaric, and must be condemned in the strongest terms.
We reported a disturbing story during the week where a 30-year-old man from Plumtree, Matabeleland South province, attacked his wife with a hammer on the head, claiming it was a sign of love. He however, learnt the hard way that a wife is not a punching bag when he was sentenced to 18 months in prison.
Sims Ncube attacked his wife Monalisa Mpofu with a hammer several times on the head and on the right limb leading her to sustain serious injuries. He was sentenced to 24 months’ imprisonment.
Six months of the sentence were suspended for five years on condition that he does not commit any offence involving physical abuse within that period, for which he would be sentenced to imprisonment without the option of a fine upon conviction. Therefore, he will spend an effective 18 months in jail.
In mitigation, Ncube shocked the court when he stated that he assaulted his wife because he loved her. He claimed that if he did not love her, he would not have assaulted her. The court heard that on 11 July 2024, at around midnight, Ncube came home and knocked on the bedroom window where his wife was sleeping and requested her cellphone to call their tenant.
The reason for wanting to contact the tenant was not specified in the court documents. When his wife opened the door, Ncube dragged her outside the house and assaulted her several times on the head and right limb with a hammer. The matter was reported to the police, leading to his arrest and subsequent appearance in court.
derick.khumalo