Online Reporter
Moreblessing Ncube
NJUBE turned into Netflix comedy when a 32-year-old man told a Bulawayo court he stole condoms — wait for it — “to buy school shoes for his child!”
Ishmael Ndlovu was dragged before Tredgold Magistrate Maxwell Ncube after being caught red-handed stuffing six packets of condoms, two sleeves of 10-pack cigarettes, and a loaf of Proton bread into his jacket at Sai Mart Supermarket.
Prosecutor Mehluli Ndlovu said Ishmael tried to pull off the budget heist on 26 June. He was, however, out of luck as a security Hendry Ndlovu, noticed the bulging pockets and pounced before he could slide out of the store like a seasoned criminal.
In court, Ishmael stood up, looked the magistrate dead in the eye and said:
“I just wanted to buy my kid some school shoes.”
Gasps. Giggles. Then full-blown courtroom laughter erupted.
But the million-dollar question remains: “So were the condoms for polishing the school shoes?”
The stolen stash, worth a grand total of US$17, was all recovered, much to the relief of the bread, which had almost suffocated under the weight of six love glove packets and 20 smokes.
Magistrate Ncube sentenced Ishmael to five months in prison, but kindly suspended three months for five years and two more on condition of good behaviour. Instead, our budget bandit will now donate 105 hours of unpaid labour at Njube Police Station.
