Coping with loss during exam time

LOSING a loved one — especially a parent or close relative — during exams is one of the hardest emotional battles anyone can face. The pain is real.

The confusion, the silence, the emptiness — all come flooding in when you’re supposed to be focusing on your studies.

But in such difficult moments, you must remember: your future still matters. And you are not alone.

1. Acknowledge your pain
It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to feel lost. Don’t hide your emotions. Suppressing your pain can make things worse. Talk to someone — a teacher, a friend, a counsellor or a relative. Let your heart pour out. Grieving is part of healing.

2. Communicate with the school
Let your teachers or head know what has happened. Schools understand these situations and can support you. Don’t stay silent.

3. Protect your mind
In grief, the mind becomes cloudy. You may lose concentration or forget easily. But if you rest, pray, and stay connected to supportive people, your mind can find clarity again. Avoid isolating yourself too much.

4. Focus on what you can control
You can’t bring back your loved one. But you can honour their memory by pushing forward. Use your pain as fuel say to yourself, “I will succeed for them. I will make them proud.” Let your education be part of your healing.

5. Balance grieving and studying
Don’t force yourself to study like nothing happened. Break your study time into smaller sessions. Take short walks. Listen to calming music. Rest when needed. Even if you only read for 30 minutes at a time, it matters.

6. Stay close to God
In times of loss, spiritual strength becomes your anchor. Pray. Reflect. Ask God for peace. Even in deep sorrow, you’ll feel His comfort.

Yes, it’s painful. Yes, it’s difficult. But remember this: you are stronger than you feel right now. Exams will come and go, but if you give up now, you may regret it later. Push forward, slowly but surely. One day you will look back and say, “I survived. I overcame.”

We believe in you. And your loved one would want you to keep going.
Dr Manners Msongelwa is an author, teacher and youth coach. He can be contacted on +263 771 019 392