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Rutendo Mapfumo Features Correspondent
IT takes any fertile girl to have a child but it takes a real woman to mother and raise er child.
Child marriages have been condemned, they are still being condemned yet they continue to exist, they are rampant and proving to be a headache.
In the stealth of the early hours of the day, the time elephants usually take a bath, a sudden and excruciating pain gripped Thandiwe.
It was the kind of pain that inexplicably shook not only her body but her whole being.
At 14, she certainly was too young to experience this kind of pain, but she was in it, deep in it, facing it, experiencing it but unfortunately, Thandiwe had no other option.
After all, it was the dictates of nature and time that a woman in labour has to experience that kind of pain and she was not going to be an exception.
The labour pain had came to Thandiwe, not as a surprise but it was the uncontrollable contractions and pain, meant to bring to finality the nine months of pregnancy, that she had never imagined.
She was not in a hospital maternity ward but at home deep in the remote rural areas.
Her grandmother, a veteran village midwife, was patient, very patient, what with all those decades of experience had taught her.
Granny told Thandiwe to be strong and patient as she returned to her half-slumber as if nothing was happening.
Here and there granny warned Thandiwe not to be too loud, lest she became the laughing stock in the village.
She tried to hold on but the pain was just too much, at least she thought a loud cry would relieve her of the pain.
It was only a matter of time, granny consoled her.
Eventually, the baby came but not without the real pain for Thandiwe.
Wrapped in a brown sari cloth, the delivered baby was taken to Lukhosi Hospital for medical check-ups as well as other procedures.
For Thandiwe it was like a dream, it was as if she had just produced a toy for herself.
Thandiwe was a tiny and youthful girl even smaller for her 14 years of existence.
Like many girls in rural Matabeleland she was rushed into marriage, before she even had time to enjoy her girlhood.
She became the third wife to a 34-year-old man. At the hospital she lied about her age to the nurses, as she had been coached by her husband and other family members.
She lied that she did not have a birth certificate or national identity cards since her parents had come as foreigners to work at Kamativi Mine.
At only 14, she was overwhelmed by her becoming a mother and at the same time a wife to a mature masculine man.
With a tiny stature, her dress code of tying a small cloth on her head and wearing long straight dresses, trying to produce a fuller figure of a woman yet in actual fact, she is only a mother who is also a kid.
Her dressing made her look like a dwarf in a giant’s robes.
Thandiwe was still playful, having forfeited her right to girlhood, she still needed to play with her friends.
More often than not, she left the child unattended, especially in the absence of her husband, taking long visits to friends in the village.
At times she probably forgot that she had left the child behind.
The baby, who was undernourished looked more of a doll, was always soiled, crying and unattended by its young mother.
Being a mother and a wife needed maturity but Thandiwe wasn’t any of that.
Thandiwe is one example of the common practice of child marriages in the Matabeleland provinces.
Here, most young girls are becoming mothers at a very tender age.
According to the Zimbabwe Girl Child Network, most girls who marry prematurely are based in the remote and rural areas.
The network also mentioned that there are various reasons which influence such premature marriages, which include some cultural, social and economic issues influencing these early marriages.
“Some church sects encourage marrying early and within the church, despite the age or where the girl comes from,” says Madzibaba Abednego of Hwange, a member of an Apostolic faith sect.
He said some marriages were defined as a calling from God, therefore, the church would just be following orders from above.
Mr Dada Mumpande of Kariyangwe Mission in Binga confirmed that early marriages were abound.
“I married my first wife when she was only 15, but now she is older and mature.
“As the husband I had to work and be patient in grooming and mentoring her into a mature mother and wife,” he said.
He said during his younger days, it was never a crime to marry a juvenile like now, also he said poverty, social and cultural beliefs are forcing girls in rural areas to marry early.
“An unexpected and unwanted pregnancy forced me into marrying my teenage girlfriend when I was not ready.
“Her parents had died when she was still very young and she was now being looked after by her grandmother.
“They were very poor I would bring them some food and I was allowed to visit anytime even late into the night.
“So, I accidentally impregnated her and found it unfair not to marry her, considering her background,” said a security guard who preferred anonymity.
Although the situation of early marriages is always kept under wraps by elders in the society, the situation continues to affect the young girls who go into marriages prematurely.
Zimbabwe is a signatory to a number of girl child protection charters that are advocating for gender mainstreaming.
The country has taken the bull by the horns and is promoting full participation of women in all its aspects of national development, while at the same time putting up a cocktail of strategies in order to address existing gender imbalances.
However, gender does not pertain to issues dealing with women only.
It has to deal with the entire community and its social strata.
According to Heslin (1998): “Gender is the socially acquired characteristics that are associated with a particular sex, it is a social construct.”
This translates to the roles, duties and responsibilities which are culturally or socially ascribed to women, men, girls and boys, thus then we talk about gender we are looking at both sexes.
Women have been championing this cause as they feel that they play second fiddle to their male counterparts and this can mainly be achieved by emphasising the principle of affirmative action across all spheres of Government policies.
Zimbabwe lives under patriarchy and government in collaboration with organisations, should come up with programmes that seek to address negative cultural practices such as early marriages that encumber women’s effective participation in national development.
Fourteen member states belonging to the Southern Africa Development Community, Zimbabwe included, adopted the Sadc Protocol on Gender and Development, which member states agreed, was the key to the sustainable development of the region.
It is everyone’s role – male or female – to overcome such cultural issues like early child marriages. It is every girl’s right to marry when she wants but she has to be mature.
If the issue of gender parity is quickly addressed diseases such as HIV/Aids, poverty and diseases which continue to haunt developing countries will be a thing of the past.
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