Online Reporter
TWO criminal “masterminds” have successfully redefined what it means to be penny-wise and pound-foolish, literally.
Ignatius Mwanza (19) and Coster Masuku (36) from Mabale in Dete recently demonstrated that not all criminals are masterminds; some are just plain ridiculous and foolish.
These two economic “visionaries”, clearly operating in a parallel universe where crime pays in cents, teamed up with their partner-in-crime, Shaine Ncube, who is still at large, to relieve a 52-year-old herdsman of his money and dignity.
The trio launched their heist on June 1, around 10pm, near a local football ground.
Mwanza, perhaps thinking he was in a Hollywood action movie, charged at the man with clenched fists and floored him with several blows.
As the victim lay helpless on the ground, Ncube joined in to complete the shameful act.
In what can only be described as both bizarre and cruel, Ncube stripped the man naked and rifled through his inner shorts to find the prized bounty: three US$1 notes.
Yes, for the price of a roadside plate of sadza and a soft drink, these three “geniuses” committed armed robbery and stripped a man of his dignity.
The poor herdsman had no choice, but to flee home in his birthday suit, likely traumatised and bewildered by how anyone could go to such extremes for pocket change.
He reported the crime to the police a few days later, and it did not take long for Mwanza and Masuku to be rounded up and dragged before the Hwange Magistrates’ Court.
There, justice was swift.
The court found the pair guilty of robbery and sentenced them to six months in prison, trimming off two months on condition of good behaviour, meaning they will each serve an effective four months in jail for their three-dollar stunt. That is 75 US cents per month of freedom lost. Even by Zimbabwe’s standards of creative entrepreneurship, this has to be the worst return on investment in criminal history.
While others hustle for honest pay, these two thought robbing a poor herdsman was a good way to earn a quick buck, only to end up with a much longer stay in a place where their freedom is worth even less.
We hope Mwanza and Masuku will enjoy their four-month all-expenses-paid vacation, courtesy of the State.
Online Reporter