Diary of Mr 30 Somethinng

MONDAY
We are still in South Africa trying to get the body released. I do not know what all the protocol is about, Diary. I am so frustrated with all this. What is more frustrating is that we are getting nothing out of this, not a cent, yet the stress it is causing is not worth it. Then there are reports back home that people are trying to take over his company and get access to bank accounts, etc. Mmmmmmm yah!

TUESDAY
Finally we are on our way back to Zimbabwe with the body, ah! From now on I am going to make sure that all our relatives have funeral policies and medical aid that cover them outside the country. This is nonsense.

WEDNESDAY
I did not need my own family issues today. Can’t these people see that I am occupied? My wife showed me my son’s examination results. He failed his mid-term exams. I did not look at the results. I just gave the paper back to my wife and told her this is not the time for her to tell me such news. It is different if he had passed. This is a stressful time for me and all she is thinking about is the examination results of this boy — she needs to time me better, this is being insensitive now.

THURSDAY
I felt bad yesterday, Diary, after telling my wife off about her trying to show me my son’s results. I took a look at them this morning. They are bad! I am concerned about my son, Diary. His results are not what I expected at all. He performed badly.
He is an A student, but he got Cs in nearly everything. I left it up to the mother to find out what is going on. I gave them till weekend to let me know what is the reason, otherwise there will be trouble. I have enough on my plate without having to worry about a son who is wasting my money and his time in school. I tried to get hold of his mother, but her phone is constantly unavailable. As always she is playing wife to that stupid man out there who is not yet fully licensed to be her husband. Women? Once they find a man they forsake everything even their own children.

FRIDAY
We spent the day running around trying to sort out the final details of the burial. The wives and their families are being a problem. We also received a message from someone who said she was his soon to be wife. She said she was travelling from South Africa to attend the funeral – what madness is that. Ah, I tell you, Diary, this sort of nonsense I won’t stand for.

SATURDAY
Ah women? What is wrong with them, nhai? If I had known this is what my uncle’s wives were going to do I would not have had them at the funeral seriously. How can anyone be this disrespectful, hey? The funeral started well as we drove in a convoy down to the burial site. Once we got there, the sister or aunt of one of the wives started complaining about something or other, hameno. Then the other wife starts adding her issues of disrespect. In the meantime the first wife is crying her eyes out, all she wants is for her husband to be buried in peace, but these other women? Then of course who turns up . . . the mistress! How much more disrespectful can anyone be? She was the reason he died in that hotel room. We will never know what exactly happened in there. For all we know she killed him. I do not care what the post-mortem results say – these people use juju on their men.
I tell you, Diary, it was a disaster of note. I can’t even talk about it. We are not even going to sleep tonight because of what happened this morning. Two members of our family were arrested for assault at the funeral. Hezvo!

SUNDAY
No one slept, no one went to church, everyone is angry and talking above their voice today. — Ah!