adminBen Chiganze A bass fisherman’s approach
Recently, I was left in a quandary when two of my four fishing partners Richard and Newton moved to South Africa. After the two left the only people left were John and I. Unbeknown to me, John was only pitching up for fishing because he had a strong bond with Richard and not with me.
After Richard’s departure John started making appointments for fishing outings with me and cancelling them a night before or just before we leave for the outing.
He would come up with numerous reasons for the cancellations, among them, that he wanted to bring two friends along who would not be ready that day, the need to attend to urgent family matters or to supply an urgent order.
He would always ask politely to postpone or defer the fishing appointment to another day. When I agreed to the postponement, he would seek further postponement before the agreed date.
This went on for a long time until I realised that waiting on John to agree to go fishing was frustrating.
I concluded that John’s cancellation were due to the fact that he was not in control of his life or he did not take a holistic approach in his decision making process. Ultimately he made planning for fishing events difficult and complicated.
As a mitigatory measure, I resolved to either fish alone or invite partners who were less complicated than John.
Even after making such a drastic decision, I found myself comparing the present fishing experience to the ones I had with Richard and Newton.
I realised that fishing was never going to be the same without my two partners. I was torn between cherishing the past and regretting my present circumstances.
In the process I started exaggerating the beauty and the convenience of the past partnership and blowing the negative aspects of my present fishing partnerships out of proportion.
In addition, I developed a sudden unexplained fear of going fishing alone or of fishing with partners I was not very familiar with.
I developed a fear for fishing alone because my mind was always pre-occupied about what will happen if I was attacked by something.
My insecurities discouraged me from going fishing. Are your partners advancing or disrupting your vision?
John’s value as a partner was limited though psychologically I felt as if I could not do without him. I had sentimental attachments to him from our past partnership.
Beyond that he did not add value to my sport? Sometimes we rely so much on partners who do not add value to our lives for support in fulfilling our goals and in most cases this inhibits our success or progress.
We need to have courage to let go of partners who do not support and agree with our vision, no matter the emotional attachment.
The most important thing in such a situation is to remain focused on your vision and goals despite the hurdles and landmines that you may encounter.
The Israelites made it to Canaan despite constantly complaining to God and reminiscing about their time in Egypt.
While on their way the Israelites were willing to give up their new found freedom and return to enslavement.
In any transitional phase people’s visions can be blurred by past experiences. In some cases the beauty or the comfort of the past life is over-exaggerated.
Most of the people who left Egypt for Canaan did not make it, but still some made it. Even when partners leave you for whatever reason the vision must not die.
Most people face challenges in moving on after losing good partners for any reason like job relocations, death or partnerships which would have irretrievably broken down.
Whether we like it or not, change of circumstances is inevitable in our lives .We need to embrace change to enjoy the present challenges we are facing.
There are changes which result in delays in the implementation of our goals, but we should not lose sight of our vision and goals.
It is mandatory to find something interesting or enjoyable in “the now circumstances’’.
The past will never comeback regardless of the fond memories we have about it.
While the past is important it is the present that shapes your destiny through your thoughts and your ability to implement those thoughts. It is important to have a mindset that looks at the present and find out positive things about the present and enjoy it. Always think that the latter is better than the former.
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