Eat at the same table as family to remain united

Melissa Mpofu, Showbiz Editor
THE dining table in a home is one of the most important pieces of furniture, yet, it is the most abandoned.

Looking at modern dining room tables, most ideally have six chairs with some accommodating up to 10 people. All this was done in order to accommodate families so that they dine together, bond and connect while passing around dishes and sharing.

But nowadays, the dining room is rarely used, with its cupboards now just there to store those special plates for use when “important” visitors come. First, you may want to start using those plates because you may die before personally enjoying them considering that those visitors, especially now with the indefinite lockdown, may never come.

However, that’s a story for another day.

So, last Sunday was communion Sunday at our church — Rivers and the pastor, Andre Olivier, spoke at length about eating together as a family at the table.

This hit me hard because I personally never eat at a table when I am home, I just never have the time to do so as I am forever on the go. In fact, when others eat, I will be doing something else so I usually eat at my own time.

Now there lies the problem, which is what Pastor Andre addressed on Sunday. Families nowadays are not bonding that much mainly due to technology as people are usually busy on their gadgets. So bad is it that people rarely even ask each other if they are okay.

To fix this, Pastor Andre, through his Returning to the Table sermon, suggested that families who have since stopped eating at the table together, consider doing so as it has so many benefits.

“Those who eat together at a table as a family and share with one another, have healthy children, healthy relationships and they have a good self-esteem because a lot of that is learnt at the table,” Pastor Andre said.

What most fail to appreciate according to the pastor, is that there is a special bond that is created while eating together at the table.

“The dinner table needs to be returned to its central place in our homes. People don’t realise the value of the table anymore. When people sit around the table, lives are shared, hearts are shared and real opinions are shared with people bonding and linking,” he said.

All families from time to time have conflicts or arguments and the table, Pastor Andre said was the best place to solve such.

Bonding needs to happen in the home. Meals are not just about filling your plate, but the act of passing around things and sharing. The table is the place of forgiveness, healing. So when eating as a family, there shouldn’t be resentment. If parents have issues they want addressed, they can pitch them at the table.

Most life skills, Pastor Andre said can also be learnt from the table hence it is crucial for families to prioritise them.

“The table is very, very important. Growing up, sitting at the table, you’d learn a lot of things. Some of the things I learnt at the table are manners, sociability, human interaction, giving and sharing through passing the dishes.

“They say the more you eat at a table in your home, the less the obesity, depression and the less the children have dysfunction because the interaction of the table, more than the food, brings about the dynamic in them that is extremely healthy,” the pastor said.

He said it is worrying how with new trends, eating at the table is now seemingly old-fashioned, yet it should be a basic way of life.

“Have you noticed how in life now the table is not important? Some people don’t even have tables in their homes. Our culture now is eating out more than eating in.

“They said 60 years ago, the average length of a meal in a home was 90 minutes and now it’s on 12 minutes because we are no longer spending time with one another, we’re eating alone. People prefer to engage on a screen while eating than engage with other human beings,” said Pastor Andre.

He went on to give an example of modern day tables in fast food outlets and boarding schools where tables now face the wall unlike the previous ones with which people could face each other and be able to interact.

Parents, Pastor Andre said, have left too much to schools that they no longer educate their children on various life issues, things which can be talked about at the table. So bad is it that most nowadays, have no appreciation of things such as their culture and family background.

While most are now of the belief that sitting at the dinner table is old school, Pastor Andre said people need to understand that all great change begins at the dinner table and that the best way to get to know people is to eat with them.

So, it is my hope that if you were no longer eating at the table with your loved ones, you start doing so. And remember to lose that mobile phone while you are at it otherwise it will defeat the whole purpose.