Chronicle Editor
Raymond Jaravaza, [email protected]
HONOURING the desires of the departed intersects with the aspirations of the living in the realm of familial choices and a family’s destiny can hang in the balance as a result of the choice made. Yet, for the bereaved family of the esteemed Professor Ntombizakhe Mlilo, the path forward was resolute.
Standing upon the crossroads of tradition and modernity, the Mlilo family made a solemn commitment to uphold the final wishes of their cherished daughter, sister, and mother. A luminary who once graced the halls of Gwanda State University (GSU) as its vice chancellor, Professor Mlilo left behind a legacy that stretched beyond her academic prowess.
Evident in her unwavering resolve, Professor Mlilo’s preference for cremation over interment was unequivocal. Among her closest confidantes, she had fervently conveyed her preference, a wish to transcend the confines of the earth and embrace the ethereal realm.
On the 12th of August, in the quietude of her Killarney abode, Professor Mlilo succumbed to a brief illness, her age of 64 marking the end of a remarkable journey. Surviving her are her devoted husband, Peter Mlilo, and their two children, witnesses to the brilliance of a woman whose life was an inspiration.
Within the hallowed walls of the Our Lady of Lourdes Parish, Roman Catholic Church in Kumalo suburb, a gathering of mourners bore witness to a poignant testimony. Professor Mlilo’s twin sister, Mrs Ntombizami Ndlovu, painted a canvas of shared memories, conjuring moments of joy and unity.
“Many people ask me why we called her Sdudla, yet she wasn’t heavily built and I always take them down memory lane. When we were born, she was a very chubby little girl, I was the slim one and the name Sdudla stuck with her as we grew older even though she started losing weight.
“I will forever miss you Sdudla, my heart bleeds when it dawns on me that I will never see you again. As an extraordinary woman that she was, she opted for cremation as opposed to burial. She said this to several members of the family and she spoke to several people, which makes it very authentic. She said when she dies, she doesn’t want people to be visiting her grave. So, cremation was her choice,” reminisced Mrs Ndlovu.
As daylight wanes and twilight descends, Mrs Ndlovu’s voice reverberated through the church, sharing anecdotes that encapsulated the essence of her twin sister. A life forged through unyielding determination, Professor Mlilo was the epitome of steadfastness, a woman whose academic conquests mirrored her tenacity.
“My sister was a hard worker, whenever she set her eyes on achieving something she went all out to achieve that goal, no matter the circumstances and we were proud of her academic achievements.
“She was much focused when her mind was made up. She had a very strong character and when she set her mind to doing something she would do it to the best of her ability and we can say she was a perfectionist,” declared Mrs Ndlovu.
Yet, as Professor Mlilo’s journey neared its twilight, the contours of pain and fortitude intermingled in a poignant symphony. Bearing witness to the trial of her sister’s therapeutic odyssey, Mrs Ndlovu recounted a session where laughter and prayer melded, a testament to the enduring bond of sisterhood.
“Because my sister was a fighter, I assured myself that she would fight and recover but she was in so much pain. I remember during one of her therapy sessions, I went to visit her at the chiropractor’s office, she asked me to sing for her and we ended up singing and praying for the entire 40-minute session. As sisters, we laughed together and cried together.”
In a society where tradition and modernity dance a delicate tango, Professor Mlilo’s embrace of cremation stood as a beacon of progressive contemplation. As the canvas of life unfurled, she bore witness to a world grappling with dwindling burial space. Bulawayo City Council’s advocacy for cremation echoed her foresight, a call to conserve the precious expanse of land.
“But from the council’s perspective you can see that we are running out of land and cremation is ideal and we are trying to save land. West Park Cemetery is now full, Athlone Cemetery and New Athlone Cemetery is also full and in the near future Umvutshwa will also be full,” added Mrs Ndlovu.
According to the Bulawayo City Council data released in 2019, before West Park cemetery was decommissioned, 3 600 burials were done at the cemetery each year compared to just 120 cremations.
West Park Crematorium is the only one that serves the city.
As the tears flowed and tender farewells were made, Professor Mlilo’s children stepped forward, emboldened by the legacy she etched into their hearts.
“You were our source of light, your love and infectious smile and laughter were the guiding force in our lives that nurtured our dreams. You taught us that life’s greatest lessons are learnt in difficult times and you will forever remain in our hearts,” their voices resonated through the lips of family friend Mari-Anne Chiromo.
As the clock marked the passage of time, only an intimate assemblage embarked on the solemn journey to West Park cemetery, where the alchemy of fire and spirit converged. Guided by her unyielding wish, Professor Mlilo embarked on her final voyage, a blaze of transformation that bridged the ephemeral with the eternal.
The rest of the mourners were asked to go to the family home in Killarney suburb for lunch.
Saturday Chronicle visited the family in Killarney suburb after the cremation and spoke to the twin sister Mrs Ndlovu.
She said it was the first time a member of the family had been cremated and she couldn’t bear being around the cremation site when the procedure began.
“Some memories have a way of haunting you so I couldn’t bear watching the whole process, it was too much for me. The pain was just too much. It was my sister’s wish to be cremated and we respect her decision,” she said.
The decision on what the family will do with the ashes is a private matter that will be kept confidential, we were told.
A news crew visited the crematorium in West Park Cemetery and spoke to a Bulawayo City Council employee who said the place is open five days a week from Monday to Friday.
“A private parlour runs this place on behalf of BCC so when you have a relative who wants to be cremated, you deal with that parlour (name withheld),” said the employee on condition we don’t publish his name.
President Mnangagwa appointed Professor Mlilo GSU Vice Chancellor in 2019 and she served until 2020 for one year, seven months.
Prof Mlilo started her education at Bengo Primary School in Gwanda, Matabeleland South before proceeding to St David’s Secondary School in Mutare, Manicaland. Due to the liberation war, her school was shut down leading to her coming back home and completing her studies at Mzilikazi High School.
She then studied in the United Kingdom but following independence in 1980 she completed her studies at the University of Zimbabwe.
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