First Lady calls on parents to be responsible

Tendai Rupapa in Bubi
PARENTS and guardians in Matabeleland North Province on Sunday drew a list of qualities they expect from daughters and sons-in-law, which, however, may be unattainable because they no longer have time to play their roles diligently and train children to have the expected qualities.

The children that parents are neglecting, it was observed, were the future sons and daughters-in-law who should be equipped with cultural norms and values.

It came out on Sunday during First Lady Auxillia Mnangagwa’s Nharirire Yemusha Programme.

The Nharirire Yemusha programme has been an eye-opener and alerted parents on the need to play their roles diligently to shape a bright future for their children.

This comes as Zimbabwe has witnessed an unprecedented surge in drug and alcohol abuse, prostitution, teen pregnancies and general disrespect among youths.

Much of these challenges have been ascribed to parent’s failure to counsel children due to modernisation and abuse of social media, hence the First Lady’s intervention.

Sunday’s proceedings, which brought together all districts in Matabeleland North Province — Hwange, Lupane, Binga, Bubi, Nkayi, Tsholotsho and Umguza — were held in strict observance of Covid-19 protocols of masking up, washing of hands and maintaining social distance.

Participants also came from as far as Victoria Falls as they did not want to miss the First Lady’s programme.

“I have come so that we have frank discussions sana amai nana baba. If you still remember I went around with the Gota/Nhanga/Ixhiba programme and sought to find out why children were misbehaving,” she said.

“We previously thought this was confined to towns, but the challenges are all over. In discussions with children, they attributed the challenges to parents. I thought they were lying because I said to them, ‘parents do not wish bad on their children’ but they said parents were no longer concerned about them.

“The children said even if they returned home in the night, no one would question them because their parents are always too busy to notice.

“From what I was told by the children, some parents accused their daughters of not being wise by not bringing home niceties and indirectly they were promoting prostitution. The parents, the children said, are always fighting in their presence, leaving them with no choice, but to seek peace outside their home.

“Some fathers are stealing what the family produces and selling before squandering the money with girlfriends. On the other hand, some children say they even see their fathers with the so-called girlfriends and ordered not to report to their mothers while their mothers are also having extra marital affairs.”

The First Lady added that children were now taking drugs, while vuzu and sex parties were also popular.

“Married men are also attending such parties and girls are getting pregnant with no knowledge of the responsible man. They are falling pregnant yet they are still of school going age.

“I am happy the chief is here because I know that such issues are also troubling them since they are the custodians of culture. Social media is also affecting parents who are now always on WhatsApp and do not even have time to bath.

So, who is teaching our children good morals, who is moulding our future leaders, our future daughters-in-law and sons-in-law?

“Let me start with children. You girls, what sort of boyfriend do you want to be your future husband?” she asked.
In response, a girl said she wanted a boyfriend who is understanding, morally upright and hardworking who could look after her and their children in future.

Another girl said she wanted a boyfriend who was loving and respectful.

The First Lady then turned to boys and asked the sort of girl they wanted.

One boy said he wanted a girl who was loving, morally upright and did not have multiple lovers.

“You are correct mwanangu because if you marry a girl who is promiscuous, she will never stop doing so even in marriage,” the First Lady said.

Another young man said he wanted a girl that was respectful towards him and his parents.

The mother of the nation concurred with the views.

“Now if you continue misbehaving vanangu, how will you marry and how will you live? My children, I plead that you listen to the teachings we are giving you as parents. Because if you do not take heed, what will become of you in your family, community and the country at large.

“Children are no longer respectful and see themselves at par with their parents. Now I want parents to tell me the type of daughter-in-law and son-in-law they want,” she said.

In response, an elderly lady, Mrs Sipho Siwela, said she looked forward to a respectful daughter-in-law who also dresses well.

Mr Makhelani Moyo said he wanted a daughter-in-law who was respectful and did not gossip.

He added that he expected a son-in-law of sober habits and hardworking.

The First Lady weighed in saying: “So, where do those daughters and sons-in-law come from if we do not have time with our children? Sons and daughters-in-law who are morally upright cannot be found when as parents we are not playing our roles of moulding them.

“As parents do you know your roles in the family? Matabeleland North, we have come so that you give us men and women that you want. We want you to mould an ideal man and woman for a household,” she stressed.

Women said an ideal woman for Matabeleland North must be prayerful, dignified, humble, approachable, hardworking, respectful and have good communication skills.

Gogo Sifanele Bhebhe said the province yearned for women who did not gossip from sunrise to sunset at the expense of their families.

This tallied with the views of Mrs Aselina Siwele who emphasised the need for women to be dignified.

“We want a mother who is respectful, respects her husband and in-laws. We want a mother who assists her husband in raising the family,” she said.

The same sentiments were echoed by Mrs Nomsa Gumpo who said: “We want a mother who does not expose family and bedroom secrets. As Matabeleland North, we want mothers who teach children to dress with dignity.

“We want a woman with vision and plans for her family ensuring that children are taught life skills as they grow. We want a woman who knows the appropriate time to come back home because your daughter copies what you do.”

Mrs Anna Mbabvu spoke of the need for women to be God-fearing so that children are taught to trust in God.
She added: “We want to emulate you Amai (First Lady) you have love towards the vulnerable groups, you do not select and everyone is equal before you.”

Men said an ideal man must look after his family, provide for it and accept his wife and children’s views.

He must also acknowledge his culture and impart it to his family, should not interfere with his wife’s roles and should be a role model to his children and the community.

They said the province wanted men who were able to satisfy their wives in the bedroom, must be responsible and accountable to the family and enforce discipline in the home.

Mr Siqhubumthetho Dube said men must not intimidate the family.

“We want to show love to our wives and when I get home, we embrace each other and kiss. If we don’t do this often, the day children see this they will be surprised.

“Men in Matabeleland North must work and contribute to the country’s economy. As the enforcers of discipline, we agreed that going forward we have time for our children, teach them how to dress and not let the child go about wearing 10 trousers.

“We promise to be faithful, no extra marital affairs, no hiding of properties from our wives. We promise to be transparent in everything we do. To our wives, we promise not to put passwords on our phones,” he said.

The men said they promise to emulate President Mnangagwa who is hardworking.

Amai Mnangagwa thanked the province for their contributions, adding that she had learnt a lot.

She said the points raised would be combined with others raised by various provinces to give a national picture on the ideal men and women Zimbabwe wanted.

She implored the gathering to carry an honest assessment of themselves and correct areas in which they were lacking.

She also spoke about her national gender based violence 575 hotline which she set up to curb the surge in cases of domestic violence.

Matabeleland North Provincial Affairs and Devolution Minister Richard Moyo thanked the First Lady for her programme.

“We thank you heartily for your well-thought out programme which will help instil a sense of responsibility and respect among parents and children.

“We are facing serious behavioural challenges among youths and such programmes as yours help promote morality,” he said.

Chief Mtshane Khumalo expressed hope that cases of domestic violence that are brought before his court will soon be a thing of the past.

“This is because most of the issues that have been a challenge in my area of jurisdiction were deliberated on today at the Nharirire Yemusha platform. We hope this will result in behavioural change in the community due to the programme,” he said.

Amai Mnangagwa donated foodstuffs to the province’s vulnerable groups.