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Tendai Rupapa in CHINHOYI
MEN and women of Mashonaland West Province were yesterday afforded a chance to mould an ideal father and mother for their province, courtesy of First Lady Auxillia Mnangagwa who took her interactive Nharirire Yemusha Programme there as she leads from the front in the search for solutions to problems that are tearing families apart, exposing children to alcohol and drug abuse, among many other vices.
The mother of the nation also took time to encourage people to get vaccinated against Covid-19 and continue to observe World Health Organisation protocols of masking up, washing hands and observing social distance.
Already, the Nharirire Yemusha Programme has been taken to all provinces and only Mashonaland West and East were remaining.
In her opening remarks, Amai Mnangagwa spelt the need to be always on the alert against Covid-19 and gave an overview of how she started the Nharirire Yemusha Programme.
“Let me start by talking about Covid-19. I urge you to get vaccinated. Now we have a booster shot let us go and be vaccinated. I encourage us all to be vaccinated because if we do not do so, this pandemic will not end in our nation.
“The Nharirire programme came about after I did the Nhanga/Gota/ Ixhiba programme which brought to the fore a lot of issues. During the programme we taught our children Zimbabwe’s traditional way of life. We taught them some household chores that they could not perform. The children told us a lot in all the provinces and the blame for most of the issues rested on our shoulders as parents. We found it pointless to teach the children without also focusing on the parents.
“The children bemoaned that because of smart phones, their parents no longer had time for them. Others said ‘parents fight in front of us or the way mum beats dad with the pot pains us and we end up leaving home.’ When the children walk away, especially the girl child, they meet people who fool them pretending to be helping them bridging the gap of parents playing the father figure and at the end impregnates the child,” she said.
“In your understanding, what is Nharirire?”
In response, Sekuru Braison Chikwara quipped: “It is someone who watches over the family and in my view, the father is the Nharirire Yemusha.”
Mrs Fungisai Chabikwa differed with the view, saying both the father and mother were the Nharirire.
“Nharirire is a guard and therefore the father and mother play this role. The father is the head of the house but the mother spends the day with the family and reports to the father,” she said.
Amai Mnangagwa likened Nharirire to a sentinel who sits at the top and alerts others in the event of anything harmful approaching.Makare Nharirire yairidza hwamanda to alert others of any danger approaching. Mashonaland West nhasi tirikuda kuumba mudzimai nemurume ane hunhu hwatinoda anova Nharirire yeMusha kuti tigadzirise zvakaipa zvirikuitika mudzimba. These days marriages are collapsing and even the elderly are not spared. So who will the youngsters learn from? We are moving like directionless people who are not clear of where they are going. Our daughters are being impregnated by different men and we just watch them bringing children of different totems at home. These children are now always at vuzu parties where bad things take place. Both boys and girls are being ruined by drugs. Today we want to build a man and woman Mashonaland West feels are ideal for the home,” she said.
She then separated men from women to come up with the qualities they expected in an ideal man and woman respectively before they later regrouped and presented findings.
Dr Verity Muzenda led the discussion on the women’s side.
On their list of qualities, for a model woman, women said she should be God fearing, hardworking, a good leader, approachable, smart, should not be lustful, dress decently, not be promiscuous and not be a gossiper among other qualities.
One participant said a model woman should be prayerful.
“We want a woman who leads her family and teaches her children to be prayerful. We also want a woman who performs all household chores and who sees to it that her children have eaten well and left for school,” she said.
Yet another participant decried the issue of sleep overs which is on the increase.
“Nowadays children are going for sleep overs at the homes of friends yet you as a parent do not know whether or not you share the same values with the parents of the friend. Another problem is that some women with high offices bring them home and disrespect their husbands. As Mashonaland West we do not want that. As women let us be submissive,” she said.
Mrs Faith Kokerai said a model woman must be content with their husband and not cheat.
“We want a woman who is content with the husband they were given by God, who does not cheat. We say no to a woman who entirely depends on her husband’s earnings. A woman must bring 50 cents and combine with the husband’s income and assist in looking after the family. This means that as women we should use our hands by coming up with projects. As mothers we should be good listeners and approachable so that children do not fear disclosing things that trouble them. Let us not be strangers to our own children. Also we should be good communicators to our husbands and be able to communicate with them. We have rejected a woman who gossips with neighbours,” she said.
She drew laughter from the gathering when she said women who relied on men for everything were DCCs — Daddy Chakati Chapera.
However, Mrs Pelagia Mutizwa said she was worried because children of nowadays no longer valued virginity.
“Our children no longer value virginity and are being lured by men because of their penchant for nice things. As mothers we are no longer worried by the time our daughter gets home. If she comes at night we simply open the door and cover up for her so that the father won’t notice. Let us sit down with these children and teach them good morals. Let’s teach our children to live with the extended family,” she said.
Reverend Asiyatu Saidi said mothers must play the role of aunts and grandmothers to children so that they cultivate good manners in them.
“As mothers we have a problem of discouraging our children from visiting their grandmothers or aunts as they grow on unfounded witchcraft allegations. As parents we should teach our children the traditional way of life that even a neighbour is your mother. Nowadays if a neighbour counsels our children, we frown upon this. We should know that it takes a village to raise a child,”she said.
Mrs Plaxedes Machisa said women must talk less and dress properly.
“We want a mother who talks less because men run away from such characters. A married woman must dress well and not walk in the nude as we are seeing today. We want a mother who watches over her children such that when she is raped you notice it immediately.”
In conclusion, the women maintained that a woman is the one who watches over the family hence is the Nharirire.
Men led by Mr Gifford Chikuya said an ideal father must be fair and not sow the seeds of division among children.
“We want a father who is just, who pays lobola and accepts when he is wrong. A model father must be God-fearing, visionary and should have authority but not be a dictator. He should let his family contribute in family issues. A man should be a provider even the Bible says you should eat the fruits of your labour so a father should provide for his family,” he said.
The men agreed that a man must have time for his family and teach children good morals.
“We must love our wives, we say no to promiscuity. As men we should lead by example and a father must be a good teacher.”
In her closing remarks the First Lady thanked all the participants for their contributions.
“We are left with Mashonaland East then we put together the views and mould an ideal man and woman for Zimbabwe. As you leave this place, mend the areas where you were wrong and this will add happiness to your families,” she said.
Mashonaland West Provincial Affairs and Devolution Minister Mary Mliswa-Chikoka praised the First Lady for her constructive programme which helps build homes.
“Our mother builds and strengthens homes and she has love for the nation of Zimbabwe. As Mashonaland West and the nation at large, Amai you do great things for us with the aim of not leaving anyone behind in all your programmes. Today your programme affords us an opportunity to discuss focusing on the watch-over of families. You had a bright vision because of conflicts that had engulfed our marriages. In some homes people were used to fighting, while suicide cases were on the increase because of domestic violence. This is an important programme. We want our homes to be fountains of happiness and peace while we teach our children good morals,” she said.
Deputy Minister of Women Affairs, Community, Small and Medium Enterprises Development Jennifer Mhlanga said the First Lady’s programme was well-thought out and beneficial.
“You may have money, you may have a kraal of livestock or all you want, but if you have no morals and the teachings like we received today you are nothing. Combining this programme with Nhanga/Gota/Ixhiba, Amai, what you have given us today is wealth. This is a sign of being a complete human being,” she said.
Mr Moses Mavhunze thanked the First Lady for the Nharirire yeMusha programme saying it had given them a chance to introspect and apply themselves fully in matters relating to families and sowing the seeds of happiness.
Online Reporter