Online Reporter
Fadzayi Maposah-Correspondent
There are words that everyone likes to hear. When good words are said to us, we feel good, valued, have less stress and become better placed to deal with the pressures of this life, and in the process have good health.
Have you realised that each time someone says good words to you, even your countenance changes. Even the way you walk and talk also changes.
Words have that effect on people. Even young babies are commended for being good, they strive to do the very best and continue being good so that they can be acknowledged. Some may even attempt a bit of modelling just to let you see that they are ready for the catwalk by virtue of looking good.
Sunday was my birthday. I turned 54. I felt like a baby, a loved one for that matter. This is because I got so many beautiful messages that were full of love. One person called to just tell me that I did not look my age.
This is because on my social media pages I had put a picture of the month of February 1972 and circled the eighth day to show the day that I was born. You should have seen the big smile on my face after that call. All what was said after being told that I did not look 54, I felt appreciated, but not so much as hearing that I did not look the age.
As I read the beautiful texts and received the calls and the many presents, I kept on smiling and felt really loved. I guess being a February baby, born in the month of love, I like being loved and made special.
One man from Chiredzi Junior School (it is now Chiredzi Primary School) said he valued me as very special classmate and recalled how we had been desk mates on many occasions.
That statement alone was enough to take off the years and take me back to pre-adolescence when I wore the checked blue and white sleeveless school dress with a white collar.
Suddenly I had the same energy that I had when we walked along the corridors, went to the library, had assembly and special events in the breeze way (an open place with a stage and a roof), when we went for sports in the grounds and how I was a very loud cheerleader when teams played at the grounds.
I walked down memory lane as I remembered my father dropping us off at the school gate on some days, and how he would sometimes tell us that we should walk to school.
I remembered how we always wore hats because it was very hot, and how we had to adjust to staying in the Lowveld after moving from Harare.
Being told that I had not changed by someone I went to primary school with was a boost! I know the wrinkles are coming (some days faster), but I still loved hearing that.
I have a video of the arrival of the surprise birthday cake from my friend Mandy and her daughters, I have to agree with class mate that the level of delight on my face is that of a child! On the day, I opened all my presents quickly like an impatient child!
This month of love, we look at the language of how people express and feel love. Today we will look at the language of words of affirmation. Words of affirmation can be spoken or written.
People appreciate notes more the unexpected texts, cards or having the words said to them. People who have this love language appreciate active listeners, they appreciate empathy, praise and affirmation.
Active listening is a technique that people need to commit to learning despite what their love language may be. It is a critical component of good communication.
Communication is important for all relationships. In active listening one should focus on understanding what is being said, responding and actually remembering what is being said. At times we claim to be listening when in essence, we have not heard what was really said.
This month of love, just know that you may go all out to have massive bouquets of flowers, chocolates that may be heavy and actual weigh down the one you are giving them to and still they may not appreciate it as much as you thought they would. Write that note. Open your heart.
Actually say that you are wrong for the time that you brought a sexually transmitted infection home, and yet denied that you did not know anything about it when secretly you were being treated.
Bare your heart and admit that you were wrong. Express yourself deeply regarding why you did that and how you regret what you did because of the negative consequences it brought to your relationship.
While you cannot change what happened in the past, you can surely commit to start on a new page as you value the person and the relationship that you have.
You have tried the flowers, chocolate, the clothes, but you know that these are just guilt presents. It is time to say it now. When you say it, actually mean it. You do not have to say it for the sake of saying it if you mean it.
This month, say the words that heal relationships and bring so much relief to hearts that contain small holes.
There are words that need to be said to heal relationships – I am sorry; I was wrong; Please forgive me; I am ready to start again; I love you.
These words bring healing. Health is wealth. It is important that we do all that we can to stay healthy. The World Health Organisation defines health as a state of complete, physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.
Happy Valentine’s Day! #Monthoflove
