From boyhood to manhood: Lessons from the Sun

THE chill of the morning hours waves goodbye. It summons the blazing noontide sun to scorch the unprepared. A time of sweating for those without umbrellas and cool shades to hide under is ushered. The sun shines its brightest before it beckons the invisible brush that paints the western horizon gold. Its full strength is not only seen but felt as coats are slowly removed.

Wispy cotton balls dotted about the blue sky slowly thicken and darken. They soon replace the heat with a smell of rain. Suddenly, a western tide moves the giant palm trees, twisting and bending them ceaselessly threatening to break them. A heavy downpour soaks the streets and yards. Beyond the fierce storm and clouds, the ruler of the day unshaken, unmoved, and unchanged is proudly going to sweetly retire in the west.

In transition from boyhood to manhood, the sun has lessons that I want to bring to our attention. In my work as an educator and a minister of the word, I have observed the lives of young men. The path that they take into manhood sometimes passes through challenging environments. It is sad that they may not be prepared to deal with the pressure they find along the way. Like the sun that passes through various seasons in a year, they have both summer and winter moments. They may blossom during the former but fade away in the latter. I have used the word SUN as an acronym for the three ingredients that make a man.

Steadiness

While heliophysics (which is the study of the sun and its impact on the solar system) suggests that this ball of energy changes the way it emits light and heat to the outer space, the sun has maintained consistency in regulating days, months and years. Time has never changed the power of the sun. In our African culture, time is measured through the sun. It regulates it.

The absence of the clouds amplifies what the sun was created to do. However, when they stubbornly hang below it, its heat steadily pierces through their thick watery envelope through solar rays. In my language they say, “Litshisel’ emayezini,” signifying the heat experienced on a cloudy day. They may cover it and yet it does not suffer from a depleted sense of worth because the dark clouds of despondency are blocking it.

Young men shifting from boyhood to manhood are faced with clouds of doubt about their real worth. The storms of unmet expectations, losses, shattered dreams and broken promises veer them off the highway of manhood. As they move towards the western horizon of their precious lives, they traverse a terrain that is fraught with changeableness. A choice to be steady may be unpopular but it is a necessary ingredient of being a real man.

Uniqueness

Because the sun towers above the storms and clouds below, it never vacillates because of a social media post that defines how “sunhood” is done. A young man who rises above the clouds and storms will not be changed by the socially scripted definition of manhood. He will develop his own unique way of doing life. Like a yoyo which bounces aimlessly and a maze without a clue, such is the life of modern young men as they try to find their way. When a lad knows that by his birth, he is a unique and unprecedented contribution to the universe, he will be as steady as the sun is.

The ideology behind the uniqueness of each person’s fingerprint is originality. Somebody said, “We are all born original, but we die copies.” There are many people that we emulate and sometimes to the detriment of our unique selves. Imitation and competition take the place of innovation and self-actualisation. An individual who would have become a better man becomes limited by the socially constructed ideologies of how his rays should beam bright.

Nobleness

When the sun majestically paves its way towards the west, it is very impressive in its appearance. It does not do so to be seen but because it is noble by nature. Unlike the moon, it does not derive its beauty from another source, it does this on its own. It is not affected by any elements outside it. A man must be noble in the following ways:

(a) He must possess fine personal qualities that elevate him to a level above animals.

(b) He must be morally upright as all nobles behave.

(d) He must be productive like the sun which ceaselessly emits solar rays from sunrise to sunset.

Nobleness and machoism are antagonistic forces. While nobleness values every person around it, machoism creates an exaggerated sense of manhood that degrades everybody else. It thrives on demeaning women in order to elevate men. It tends to be egotistic in nature. The sun does not brag about its nobleness, but it just provides life to the solar system. It does not have any entitlement like machoism does. Real men choose nobleness.

In the next articles in this series, I am going to explore the various facets of manhood and how the society affects their development. The storms and clouds that hang below each man will be explored against the backdrop of societal expectations. Let us enjoy the journey from boyhood to manhood with steadiness, uniqueness and nobleness as the essential ingredients.

λ Sikhumbuzo Dube is the founder of Shunem Care, a ministry of care for involuntarily childless people and has published several articles on spiritual care, chaplaincy and involuntary childlessness