Online Reporter
Pastor Sikhumbuzo Dube (picture by-line), [email protected]
My little brother Simlindele recounted a captivating tale that provided profound insights into the intricate dynamics of family life. The narrative beautifully illustrated the diverse experiences and emotions that shape our relationships within a family unit, enabling me to better understand the bonds that bind us together.
It was a lovely sports day, with a gentle afternoon breeze playfully tickling the grass on the football pitch. The sun beamed cheerfully, and people bustled about, decked in their team jerseys. Among them was Joe, a proud dog owner and self-proclaimed canine whisperer, who brought his well-trained dog, Buster, along for the adventure. Confident in Buster’s impeccable manners, Joe left him in the back of his trusty truck, giving him a stern command to “stay” — a command reinforced by a treat lingering in his pocket.
As the match got delayed — some rather enthusiastic children had a tangle of shoelaces that required a referee’s intervention with a whistle — the bored Buster was left to contemplate life and the existential question: Why was he not playing? His tiny doggy bladder, however, had other ideas and soon became too much to bear. With a swift, dramatic leap, he bounded out of the truck like a furry superhero ready to save the day.
As the reinvigorated Buster scampered, he spotted an identical truck parked nearby. In a moment of pure canine chaos, he mistook it for Joe’s and joyfully jumped in, envisioning an adventure in the company of some bacon-flavoured snacks. He didn’t realise he had accidentally jumped into Bob’s vehicle, a good-hearted but slightly clueless man, who was completely overjoyed to find a dog in his truck. “Oh, what a lovely surprise!” he exclaimed, blissfully unaware that this was not his new best friend but someone else’s beloved pet. Off he drove into the sunset, blissfully stealing Buster away.
Meanwhile, Buster found himself in unfamiliar territory — an abode adorned with various snacks and a distinct lack of chew toys. Despite the array of delicious treats, he resolutely refused to eat. Bob, puzzled by his new canine companion’s standoffish behaviour, picked up his phone to check the number on the dog’s collar. “Joe!” he enthusiastically greeted when the call connected, happy to discover that he could speak to the dog’s owner directly.
“Hey there! Just put your phone on loud mode,” Joe instructed with a glint of hope. As soon as Buster heard Joe’s voice, he perked up, wagging his tail so vigorously it might as well have been a propeller. It was a heartwarming moment, a mutual recognition across the miles.
Buster finally caved with the phone on loud mode and Joe giving a few easy commands — “sit”, “spin”, and the ever-popular ‘treat’. He crashed into his bowl and devoured his food enthusiastically, realising all it took was a little love and a familiar voice to get him back in the game. Bob chuckled, amazed at the power of friendship — and the dog’s selective diet, which revolved around exciting instructions from his original best buddy, Joe.
Today, we are witnessing an alarming rise in marital discord as families find themselves on the brink of collapse. Many young men step into the sacred institution of marriage unprepared to navigate its complex and often harsh realities. While empowering young girls is undoubtedly a step forward, it has inadvertently created a significant divide between these informed, ambitious women and their less knowledgeable male counterparts. This widening gap complicates relationships and underscores the urgent need for a more balanced approach to education and preparation for young men and women as they embark on the journey of partnership and family life.
Why are marriages failing? Some of them ignore the three miracle-working phrases for an authentic man. Before young men commit their lives to anyone, they must master the following miracle-working phrases. I also add that these need to be used by both husband and wife. If you find it hard to use them, you may not be ready for marriage.
“I am sorry.”
Marriage is a journey filled with both joyous moments and challenges. It is essential to recognise that imperfections are part of the process. Occasionally, either partner may feel pain due to misunderstandings or disagreements. When a man dons his stoic mask, he may be reluctant to confront reality. He may refuse to apologise, believing that doing so diminishes his authority and authenticity. However, genuinely apologising is not a weakness but a powerful testament to one’s commitment and maturity.
Expressions of remorse, intertwined with sincerity, beautifully illuminate the complexities of your marital journey. They reflect the challenges encountered and the profound commitment both partners share to nurture growth and understanding. By fully embracing this delicate dance of emotions, you strengthen the bond between you and cultivate an intimacy that deepens your connection in ways words can scarcely express. This shared vulnerability becomes the foundation of a more prosperous and romantic partnership, inviting love and learning to flourish side by side.
“Thank you.”
One of the most telling indicators of a loveless marriage is a spouse who exhibits little appreciation or gratitude. When love flourishes in a relationship, expressions of gratitude, such as sincere “Thank yous,” flow freely and authentically. To nurture love and warmth in your partnership, continually seek imaginative and heartfelt ways to convey your thanks. Furthermore, small gestures can spark deeper connections and revive affection.
Seize every opportunity to express your heartfelt “Thank you” and witness the beautiful blossoming of your relationship. Each expression of gratitude shared becomes a thread woven into the fabric of your connection, fortifying the bonds of love and appreciation that thrive between you. As you navigate life’s journey together, these simple yet profound expressions of gratitude will illuminate your path, creating warmth and romance that draw you closer together.
“I love you.”
This should be an enchanting dance, not merely a tool for ambition or a means to an end. Let it blossom like a flower in spring — unhurried and sincere, never a stepping stone towards sexual intercourse. Allow the connection to unfold naturally, as effortless as the rhythm of our breath, creating a beautiful symphony of emotions that intertwine in the moment.
My prayer is that our young and old people will use these miracle words for the betterment of families. Let healing words season each family with love, peace and happiness in marriage.
*Pastor Sikhumbuzo Dube is a chaplain, counsellor, marriage coach and founder of Shunem Care, a ministry to the involuntarily childless and emotionally wounded. He has published several articles on spiritual care, mental health, chaplaincy, and involuntary childlessness.
