Ghetto Blast: N’angas, prophets on demand?

chord.
Some of them claim to have powers to have stolen property returned or even to make the Heavens weep.
They are preaching what people want to hear and who can blame them for the large followings they now command?
Sociologically, a human being is a social animal that shows no sign of stress in conditions where appreciation and praises are showered.
Is this not what these visionaries and those with the spirit of divination are doing?
At hairdressing salons, political rallies, in kombis, at church, at the marketplace, workplace, at bars and even in jail discussions are centred on these visionaries.
N’angas are not to be left out.
“I am blessed,” “God blesses,” “Mwari anoropafadza,” “Kudzai wedenga,” “Mwari anopa,” are now common lines whenever you meet someone.
Even cellphone ringing tones praising Yahweh and attesting to the glory of God have just grown popular.
In women’s handbags you find lotions mixed with herbs to ensure they command respect wherever they go. This, they are told, helps them deal with men who have cash.
Men too move about with herbal sticks in their wallets to ensure their money is not stolen and they even get more. Those attending court will have applied all sorts of ointments at the prescription of n’angas and prophets to hoodwink the magistrates.
Court cleaners have long tales to tell about multifarious charms they see under the benches and even in the dock. Some court orderlies are now asking those attending court sessions to do their rituals outside.
“Tapota siyai matombo enyu emuteuro panze apo kwete pasi pemabhenji,” they shout though nobody takes heed.
But is this not witchcraft?
Is it that people have become religious?
There is an unexplained issue here.
Pane irikutambika chete.
People who are doing exceptionally well these days are either n’angas, prophets or those who have been there. And some prophets will demand “nothing” for their services but want you to show appreciation by giving them a bit of cash.
Mutambo wacho ndewekurongerana.
“Baba vanoona ivavo. Vanodedemutsa dambudziko rako zvaunonzwa kuti hesi ndabaiwa neshoko,” you hear people say of prophets.
“He is a very powerful man. If you want your things to work, just follow his instructions. Ishasha chaiyo,” yours truly heard people saying over the weekend.
“One good thing about this man is that he charges nothing. All you have to do is pay a paltry US$100 to buy Durban water, anointing oil and mafuta ehwai. Haiwa unoona upenyu hwavakuendeka,” another woman said within earshot.
But does this not mean those without cash will not be attended to?
Is this how it works?
Whether these people really have powers to extricate their clients from the jaws of poverty remains to be seen, but they are currently in vogue.
Vari kushura mare vanababa vezvemweya.
So into prophets have people become that if one of them enters the political ring, he will win resoundingly.
In the ghettos where most prophets operate, it is now common to see swanky cars parked on the edges of the road while the owners have gone uphill to consult the man of God.
Even chocolate-skinned shapely women with a captivating gait are making their way to prophets day and night. It is now common to find women wiping dust from their feet and hiding their white regalia before boarding kombis on their way from a shrine.
Men too are not to be outdone. These can be seen checking side ways to ensure no one is seeing them before making their way into footpaths leading to an apostolic sect shrine.
Even some cars testify with husk underneath their bodies that their owners have driven through a grassy area in search of holy water.
But which classes of people visit these places?
The answer is everyone.
Gentle reader, prophets are being consulted by all and sundry with the poor visiting their shrines while the rich invite them over to their opulent homes.
If you visit a friend unexpectedly, do not be surprised if he ignores you because he will be busy with the prophets and n’angas.
In today’s lingo they say, “tiri kumbosota yedhaunda. Yechivanhu vanhu.”
If someone lends you their car, you are likely to see herbs in the ash tray, glove compartment or in the door panel.
The spare wheel cubicle in the boot is also a popular place for hiding muti.
Even food is now very unsafe to share because some sprinkle theirs with luck-enhancing charms.
“Nowadays life is very rough. You need to be always on the lookout for people bent on disturbing your life. There is no harm in visiting a prophet to protect your interests,” a gap-toothed woman confided in this writer last Saturday.
She said she has been consulting prophets since the time she got married 10 years ago.
“Sahwira, kana uchida kuti imba itsige wototamba iyoyo. My husband used to beat me up time and again, but from the time I started consulting this prophet he has become a changed man.
“Holy water has made him more loving and caring than before. Unonyatsonzwa kuti murume wangu haagone neni,” she told this writer though she refused to disclose her name.
Women seeking marriage partners and those trying to win back their husbands snatched by harlots and the pleasures of this world also consult prophets.
Couples with problems conceiving are also great customers of n’angas and prophets.
Jobless youths and those facing hostility from friends and relatives strongly believe they can get cure from the holy men. Thieves also make their way to these churches to ensure they can conduct their business undetected.
Those on the police wanted list and scores with pending cases at the courts believe the prophets have powers to wiggle them out of these problems.
Men and women eyeing promotion at work trace their ways uphill. Only time will tell who is fooling who.
Inotambika mughetto..63