Holidays call for stricter monitoring of children

LAST week, I chanced upon a man seeking directions to the summit of a hill in Crowhill.

The tall, dark, wizened fellow with furrowed brows said he eagerly wanted to reach the top of the hill for a personal conversation with God.

“My friend, I have to meet God and tell Him about the challenges I am going through. My eldest son is now taking drugs, while my daughter is in the habit of bringing fatherless babies home after every two years. I need to go up there and tell my Creator what I am going through,” he said, as he disappeared into the dense vegetation leading to the hill.

He had a Bible in one hand and a white garment in the other.

I almost questioned the man’s sanity, but later came to terms with the fact that parents are concerned with issues pertaining to children.

It is even worse during school holidays.

This is the time when children experiment with anything that comes their way. If a child is not gainfully engaged during the holidays and has a lot of idle time on their hands, it can be a recipe for disaster. During this period, children can meet strangers or people with warped minds, who impress upon them to try drugs as a sign of masculinity, or sex as a symbol of virility.

According to experts, much as the school holiday is a joyous time, it is also a period during which parents, guardians, caretakers and local leaders need to be extra cautious about the safety of children in their homes and the neighbourhood.

As the holidays begin, it is important to remember that protecting children is a priority.

Here are some holiday tips to help parents, guardians and other concerned citizens.

Discuss boundaries. During the holidays, there are additional friends and family members. Some may want to hug or tickle your child. They may also want your child to sit on their laps. Teach your children to say no to unwanted touches and favours by adults or other children.
Pay attention to signs of child abuse. Many times, adults disregard statements from children, especially when a family member or trusted friend or someone they think could never harm their child is accused by the young. The truth is that 90 percent of children are sexually abused by someone they and the family knows well, and 70 percent by a family member. Additionally, abuse can happen at the hands of another child, so be alert to relationships and activities by children. Remember, your child depends on you to keep them safe. If something is not right, ask questions, check and make a follow-up.
Teach your children to avoid keeping secrets. Children may remain silent after being abused, having been told by the abusers that what transpired is their little secret. Explain to children that secrets are usually about something unsafe or bad. Remind your child that if anyone, an adult or another child, ever asks them to keep a secret, they should tell you or a trustworthy adult right away.
Limit one-on-one situations. Alone-time between your child and another adult should be limited, if possible. Try to look for opportunities where that time is interruptible and observable, drop home unannounced and interview your children. About 80 percent of sexual abuse occurs in one adult-one child situations. One-on-one times between children can also provide an opportunity for inappropriate behaviours. At least 30 percent of all child sexual abuse cases are by another child. The key is early and ongoing two-way communication, where your child feels free to come to you and ask questions. Parents must ensure the environment and relationship are ideal for this to happen.
Manage your stress as parents. Sometimes, increased financial demands impact on families during holidays, leading to short tempers and possibly physical abuse of a child. It is advisable for parents to de-stress and calm down. When they feel out of control, they should call a friend and ask for support, et cetera.

Gentle reader, like fire which can be a good and bad master at the same time, parenting can be a joy or source of health challenges like hypertension, which leads to death if not handled properly.

Inotambika mughetto.

Feedback: rosenthal.mutakati @zimpapers.co.zw