How to receive a compliment gracefully

nice about the gift and, above all, do not say you do not like it (even if you do not) because that will hurt the feelings of the giver.
This advice is as good today as it was when you were five years old.
It still applies whenever you receive a gift – and that includes the gift of a compliment.
Graciously accepting a compliment in any setting is not only good manners, it is a sign of someone who is confident and self-assured. It is also a way to build rapport by acknowledging the compliment paid.
There is an anonymous saying that goes: “A compliment is a verbal sunshine.” I find this to be quite true.
In fact a well meant and well said compliment puts a smile on my face and gives me a warm feeling inside.
Whether I am complimented for my work or the way I look, a compliment is a self-esteem booster.
However, very few of us really know how to accept compliments gracefully.
The majority of the time, we just brush off the topic, get self-conscious or tongue-tied. We get embarrassed and do not know how to act and handle the situation.
Although we are taught from childhood to say “thank you”, when it comes to using it (when complimented), it becomes a difficult task.
However, it is very important to accept the compliments gracefully, not only does it boost your confidence, but also help get rid of insecurities about oneself.
When you receive a compliment and receive it in the proper way, you encourage people to praise you more.
You must accept compliments with grace and elegance. In this way you will stand out as a more refined and well groomed person.
The first step to receiving a compliment gracefully is to take the focus off of yourself.
Do not think so much about what the person is complimenting you about, but instead think of how kind it was for that person to have complimented you!
Next receive the compliment by simply saying the words “thank you”. Do not try to deny the compliment. Just accept it with an open heart. Do not say: “Oh thanks but. . .”
It reminds me of a woman I met the other day. She was wearing a pair of shoes that in my books were literally a pair to die for.
They were cerise pink, with the most delicate looking stiletto heels complete with a flower detail.
As we waited at a reception area, I remarked: “Wow that is the most gorgeous shoe I have ever seen in a long time.” At that point one would have thought that I had said the opposite.
She looked down and muttered: “Oh I only bought them at the Mupedzanhamo flea market for US$5.”
I was taken aback as I had not bargained for such a reaction, but still went ahead to chat with her and I continued to emphasise that they were a masterpiece.
She should have just said “thank you, I appreciate that”. Many people do not realise that it is rude to not say “thank you” to a compliment. In essence, the person that has complimented you has done you a favour.
It is nice to emphasise the kindness of the person that has made the compliment by saying something like: “Thank you. That is so nice of you to say.”
Saying this also helps take the focus off you, if you tend to get embarrassed. If you feel uncomfortable with the attention on you, you could say thank you and then compliment the person on something they do well, or find something obvious about them to compliment.
It must be a sincere compliment though otherwise you will not be taken seriously. This distributes the praise more evenly.
Keep in mind that with some people and some cultures you could really offend someone if you do not accept a compliment gracefully, it is saying that the person whom is offering the compliment is not worthy to give one, and that their opinions do not matter.
If anything accept out of respect. It is simply bad etiquette to reject a compliment. Sometimes, if you are really surprised by a compliment, it is okay to say: “Really? Do you really think so?” But always end by saying: “Thank you!”
Avoid the temptation of belittling yourself. It shows you in bad light when you reject or put yourself down.
As you accept compliments it is great to smile as well. This helps you and the person who has given you the compliment.
If you practice this frequently without stumbling over your words, it will become second nature and it will get easier. Actions speak louder than words, so as you say “thank you”, also let your body posture convey self-confidence.
If you are standing, stand up straight and smile. If you are seated, sit upright.
A slumped, slouched posture will show that either you do not believe in the compliment or you are not confident enough to accept it.
Remember to make eye contact. Pay close attention when you are getting compliments.
Looking here and there or sending messages on your cellphone is being rude. So, look the person in the eyes, smile, and say “thank you” kindly.
As a well groomed person, do not argue with an admirer when they compliment you and do not compare your performances to anybody else’s.
It is superfluous and just shows how self-absorbed you are.
Even when you have the nagging feeling that the compliment is a hidden sarcasm, do not take it negatively. Accept it gracefully and smile. Do not bask too much in self-glory.
Smile and accept the compliment with elegance, but make sure you do not come off as too egocentric and self-centred.
Some people cannot accept compliments either because they have low self-esteem or from past experiences, but we must realise that we are all very special, and it is good to feel special.
No one is bigger or better. When you have done something well or someone likes something of you, that is a good thing and you are worth it!
Remember that everybody is busy. We all have our own concerns to look after, so when someone takes notice of something we have done well and they make an effort to tell us, we owe it to them to acknowledge their thoughtfulness.
l Christine Nyirenda-Chimuka is an internationally qualified and accredited image consultant and communications professional running Milestone Communications and can be contacted on e-mail: [email protected]