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Fadzayi Maposah Correspondent
Talking about the “it experience”, menstruation is not easy. The fact that there has to be a “code” so that others are left in the dark means that it can only be put in three words, it is complicated!
I suppose some of the things that we think are complicated are not as complex as we make them out to be. It comes down to commitment and being open.
Among some women, just mention menstruation and the looks that you may get; it sends shudders down their spines.
When I was a child, I used to get nuggets of information about menstruation.
The information was so minimal that one was left with more questions than answers.
In some way it left traces of stress on those who received the nuggets. Imagine if women struggle with their very own issue, how are the male members of this world supposed to take it all in?
Is it their fault when they choose to be in the terraces, not in the changing room so that they never get wind of menstruation discussions?
While women are taking a back seat regarding one of their very own and personal issues, there are some males who have realised that this issue concerns both males and females.
If well- handled both sexes benefit, the whole community benefits.
In May the mothers were celebrated. Actually the hype had been building up from around early March when we commemorated International Women’s Day.
In some relationships, the presents have been shared from Christmas time. In January I hear that some people (especially women) now require presents for bravely surviving the January disease!
Then in February there are tantrums if there is are no St Valentine’s Day presents.
Then the build up to Easter, there will have been lenient and not celebrated the Mothering Sunday in March! As days get closer to Mother`s Day, the media is awash with messages about what one can do to make their Mother feel and know that they are very special.
The adverts are everywhere. On Mother’s Day so much is done and shared for the special women.
Maybe I have been out of touch, but Father’s Day does not seem to have the excitement that accompanies the countdown to Mother’s Day.
What is the problem? Where is the problem? Is there a problem?
Today I choose and celebrate males who are fathers or who are father figures and support menstrual health management.
WaMambo my father referred to shopping as KuGrocery (kuenda kugrocery, going for grocery shopping) and for him it was a process.
Lists were submitted and edited before we got into his car for the shopping trip.
In my final year of high school I had left out sanitary ware from my list.
WaMambo added female tissues/cotton wool. When MaNcube my mother was given the lists just to check as his able helper, she neatly cancelled female tissues/cotton wool and wrote pads and specified the brand.
My father never talked openly about menstruation, but he made sure that we were equipped adequately. Back then he was a menstruation supporter but I am sure he had no idea that he was providing much needed support.
While I was in college one of the friends was a young man who gently tapped my shoulder as I left the dining and said lowly, “You should go and attend to your dress. There has been an accident.”
I was a teenager then and for the first time after six years back in class with the boys after being in a girls’ school.
With wide open eyes and trembling hands I turned my dress and when I saw the stain near the hem line, the mazhanje stain, I was relieved.
His name is Wellington. That tap on the shoulder and the warning to attend to the dress was the beginning of a great friendship.
At a time when teasing could have been more fun, he had been a gentleman to reach out and help. Later he was to share that he had learnt from his father that his sisters and other women needed men to look out for them.
From a young age he had heard a man he looked up to tell him that there was nothing wrong with menstruation and that mishaps could happen and when they did, reaching out to help was the best.
There are some males like Chihwa who are in the lead of celebrating his eldest daughter’s graduation into womanhood with a proper all dressed up dinner.
When I said he had done very well he simply smiled, nodded acknowledgement and said it was just him looking out for his girls and ensuring that they knew that he was there for them.
Together with his wife, he has made sure that his children have information on menstruation.
Then there are those men like my friend the farmer who follows what I write but thinks that I have written enough on menstruation and should now move on to other topics! Still he reads and gets information.
There are male teachers, sharing menstrual health management information as part of their jobs. They too are to be celebrated.
Some fathers may never do heroic acts that have them on the headlines but their contribution to the varied menstruation journeys is recognised and appreciated.
Tomorrow is Father`s Day. I choose and celebrate fathers who support women and girls as they experience menstruation. As a father your support is vital in many ways.
The starting point can be just being there and asking if there are ways you can help. Be the best father you can be!
Enjoy the day. I really hope you get presents or just a message to say: My father you are appreciated!
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