dyton mupawaenda
Mudzimba-Dr Rebecca Chisamba
I AM a 26-year-old single guy. I have a degree and I am gainfully employed. I joined the company I am working for last year.
When I came on board, there was also a single 24-year-old lady who had joined the firm just a week before me.
We automatically became friends. It was not easy to make friends with other employees. We used to spend our tea and lunchtime together. Sometimes, we would take turns buying each other food.
My parents gave me their small car when I was in college; it is still my most prized possession to this day and I have looked after it well. Every now and then, I would gladly give this girl a lift and most people thought we were a couple. We did a lot together and even went to the movies together. I did all this in the name of mere friendship; I never told her that I loved her.
This year, another girl joined the company and her beauty swept me off my feet.
I immediately asked her out and she agreed but this did not go down well with my other friend. She confronted my newfound lover and complained that I was cheating on her. It is not looking good and the environment has changed. How do I fix this?
Response
Hello, thank you for reaching out. In our culture, it is not very common to befriend a member of the opposite sex.
But times are changing and it is gradually becoming normal.
Our people may learn to accept this. In your case, the worst bit is that even your friend concluded that you had fallen for each other. I hope you did not add any fuel to this fire with actions that may have sent even more mixed signals.
You have found love, but I want you to remember that you should respect your workplace.
I advise you to talk to these two women outside work and resolve things amicably.
I think the first woman had a crush on you and mistook your intentions, so there is a lot of damage control to do. I hope you will be understood and the women will be able to embrace each other as work colleagues. Please keep me posted.
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Neighbour gets
on my nerves
Dear Amai, thank you very much for your column in The Sunday Mail. Your readers are truly inspired to become better people. I am a married middle-aged woman with children.
There is a hole in my neighbour’s fence and one of my chickens strayed into their yard and ate some of their vegetables.
The chicken did not come back; it just disappeared.
My sixth sense tells me that they made a meal out of it as revenge. The other day I asked about the chicken because I wanted to know what happened.
The woman blew her top and told me point blank that she ate the chicken as compensation for her veggies.
She even advised me to go and report the matter to the police if I was that bothered. Please help, how do I solve this?
Response
Dear writer, thank you for following the column and aspiring to be the best version of yourself alongside many others.
This is a very small issue that neighbours can resolve. You do not need the police at all. You should be looking out for each other instead of bickering.
How much does it cost to fix a broken fence? Another alternative would be to block the hole and stop the chickens from straying.
Be the bigger person; apologise and assure her that this will not happen again.
In all fairness, the incident stemmed from your side when your chicken went wandering.
If you decide to continue rearing chickens, make sure they do not stray beyond the confines of your premises. Consider all the drama water under the bridge.
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Am I being fooled?
Dear Amai, makadii? I am 30 years old, single and employed as a househelp.
I work for a middle-aged couple that is blessed with three kids. I am in love with my male boss; he gives me money and goodies.
He says his wife is very lazy and does not like people from his side of the family. He has been promising to marry me for the past two years. He insists that our love should be a secret.
His wife does not suspect anything, and she does not know that she will be sent away when I get married.
I do not mind looking after the kids because they are already used to staying with me. Amai, do you think he will marry me?
Response
I am very well, thank you for inquiring. Your letter made my reading very sad. Please wake up and smell the coffee.
The fact that he has been lying to you for the past two years is a big red flag.
I smell a rat; this guy is taking advantage of you and enjoying the best of both worlds. If the truth is to be told, you are wasting your time.
It is high time you fell for someone single like you. It is very unfortunate that you have lost your conscience. Remember, his wife and kids are innocent in all of this.
If you continue what you are doing, they will be the casualties of your bad decisions. You are playing a very dangerous game that may cost you your job and future. Be smart and stop while you are still ahead.
Feedback: beckychisamba @gmail.com
Online Reporter