adminHELLO there readers, I hope you had a pleasant week .
I was asked by a young gentleman sometime back on what key life areas he needed to build or sustain as a single guy, dating guy and married guy. Personally, this is what I live my life by and I would recommend everyone, male or female to work their life visions along these lines. They call these the seven key areas or life.
I did the workshop for two and half days and paid a lot of money for it, but it was worth it. Every now and again, I falter in one or two, but at least I know where to improve and how.
You can adjust it as you please to suit yourself and or your family. I have not put them in any particular order, depending on our relationship state or financial state, you can put the most important first then work your way.
You can get more detailed, but you should at least cover these seven areas. These are not in any particular order and you’re free to rearrange them as you see fit.
Career
You are going to spend about a third of your adult life working. That is a lot of time. Wouldn’t it be cool if you actually enjoyed your work and looked forward to it on most days? Depending on the study you look at, anywhere between 55-75 percent of workers are dissatisfied with their jobs. Chances are good that you may even be one of those people. So if you are going to spend time working on a life plan, spend some serious time thinking about what it is you would like to spend a third of your life doing and where you might be the most satisfied. Dissatisfaction with your career can create problems in all areas of your life. Knowing where you would like to be can help you devise a plan to get there. It has been proven that a partner who is unhappy at work tends to bring it home. So you need to work towards a career or job that is satisfying and also rewarding. I know it is hard in a country such as ours, but it is very possible.
Financial
Most people have some sort of financial goals at the back of their minds. Yet how many people actually create a plan to achieve it? Very few.
Maybe you want to be a millionaire, maybe you don’t — there is nothing wrong with either desire. But do you know how much you need to make to do the things you want to do in life? Do you know how much you need to make to give more, save more, or start your business?
Do you want to get out of debt or payoff your student loan in five years? Do you want to buy a house? Do you know what it will take to keep you financially stable when you are married or when you have kids? What about a car, do you have one or do you still need to get one? It might sound crazy to some, but I had put a deposit on my own flat and bought my BMW cash at the age of 27 and it was not through diamonds either. I had a vision and I worked towards it. Do you have a vision? Write this stuff down as part of your vision.
Physical
We get one body and most of us abuse it — then we wonder why we feel like crap. I tell you, I was super fit when I was younger. I played every sport I could, I went on every excursion I could, I walked or ran everywhere except when I really needed to use the car. I cleaned my own home and did gardening every weekend.
I tell you I was super fit and slim, flat stomach, firm where I should be (kikikiki). Somehow though I got lazy and stopped doing sport, I now drive everywhere, I eat more than I should etc. I tell you it shows in areas that I am too embarrassed to mention. It also affects my energy levels and moods sometimes because I feel uncomfortable in my current body. But of course I am the only one to blame.
How do you want your health to be different in five, 10, or 20 years? Do you want to be slimmer? Do you want to lower your cholesterol? Do you want to train for and compete in a marathon? Do you want to quit smoking or drinking? Do you play sport at least once a week with friends? If not, you should.
Family
When life gets busy or overwhelming, it is our families that often suffer. We take their time and give it to our jobs or some other obligation that is not as important as they are.
If you want a strong family, you need to make it a point to write out what you want your family life to look like. Do you want a better marriage? Write that down. Do you want better-behaved kids? Write that down. Do you want to take two vacations each year with your family? You guessed it — write it down.
Maybe you are single and want to find that perfect spouse. Write that down. What do you call perfect (I do not mean her/his physical appearance). Perfect is someone who compliments you, your weakness is their strength and vice versa. But also maybe you want someone who is just like you but in the opposite gender form, that’s okay.
Self-Improvement/Personal Development
The goal of this area is to grow as an individual through learning. Sadly most people believe that education stops at graduation. In reality we must keep learning if we are to grow as people and have successful marriages, relationships and careers.
One of the best ways to do this is to read something each day (text messages do not count) (about 30 minutes each day). If you have a long commute or are in the car a lot consider listening to more than just entertainment news and gossip.
Try learning a new skill, language, hobby etc. It is never too late and many people who do this turn out to be more pleasant people to be around because they are happy.
Social
Do you want to make more friends? Do you want to surround yourself with better influences? Do you want to be involved in more community or church-related groups? If you are interested in learning a new skill, perhaps it would be a good idea to join a group of like-minded people who are doing what you want to learn.
They say: “You are what you hang around with”. If the people you hang around with are not positive people, you will find that your life has a lot more negative things happening that is necessary because you will also be speaking negativity into your situations. Decide what you want your social future to look like, write it down and work towards it.
Spiritual
In my life plan this section comes first since it forms the lens through which I understand and prioritize the other six areas. Do you need to spend more time in prayer and meditation? Do you want to grow in your understanding of your faith through reading faith-based books or listening to faith based tapes? Do you want to read scripture more often? You could also mention church involvement here instead of in the Social section.
We are spiritual beings and we shouldn’t neglect this section of our life plan.
In conclusion
A number of books and resources call the entirety of these seven areas “the wheel of life” and depict it as a circle with seven equally-shaped pie pieces. The point is to show that you need a healthy amount of each area for a healthy life.
If you neglect one or more areas for too long, you will get what we call “a flat tyre”. If you have ever had a flat tyre on your car, you will understand the analogy. You won’t go anywhere until you get it fixed. Everything comes to a halt.
You must make each area a priority in your life and devise a plan for how you intend to make progress in them.
Growth is intentional — it doesn’t just happen. So everything you have written down, you now need to devise an active plan to make it work practically. Take your time, step by step, slowly does it. Better to be moving slowly, than not at all.
And for guys, the next time a girl asks you what you plans are for the future, you can impress her by outlining your future plans for the seven areas of your life. Believe me she will be so impressed.
Well, that is it from me this week, until next week, God bless.
Marriage Doctor can be messaged/whatsapped on 0772 933 845 or email: [email protected].
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