adminDr Masimba Mavaza
A good friend of mine, Rumbu, invited me for dinner.
When we finished eating, she asked her daughter: “Kelly can you please come and wash the dishes.”
Kelly replied: “Mum, those are not even my dishes, it is you who has been eating. Why can you not wash your own dishes.”
Rumbu knows the restrictions of disciplining children in the UK and she quietly says to herself: “I have had enough, one day am going to send you back to Africa.”
For many immigrant families, sending a child back home seems to be the quick fix.
But is there an alternative? And is it necessary to remind a child many times that Africa is not home, but place of punishment?
On a weighty situation, a colleague of mine, Abina, said she was at home and a knock disturbed her sleep at 2am.
It was the police.
Abina’s thoughts immediately rushed to her 19-year-old son in prison, thinking something wrong had happened, only to find a bigger shock.
It was her 14-year-old daughter who was meant to be in bed sleeping, but had been found by the police roaming the streets.
Abina is a single mother of four whose husband left her and never returned to the family.
Abina works 12-hour shifts for six days a week between two jobs as a care assistant and cleaner.
She has household chores like cooking and laundry to take care of at home and then on Sunday she religiously goes to church.
Abina has been aware that her daughter had behavioural problems.
Two weeks prior, she had been expelled from school, but Abina had no idea that he problem had escalated that far.
Sending her daughter back to Zimbabwe was the only option.
The above two problems are not only isolated to Zimbabwean communities in the UK, but also the wider immigrant homes.
Even now, the bigger problem looming is that of LGBT being taken as part of school curriculum at an early age of four.
This has left many parents on the brink of mental breakdown as it contradicts moral, religious ,cultural and spiritual values of many immigrants.
Maria Masendu from Corby, UK, said: “Families from Zimbabwe and Zambia were among those flying their children to Africa to learn discipline and respect. Parents are sending their children to Africa so they are not swept up by gang violence in the Diaspora.
Elena Mapfumo from London tells the story of her daughter.
She says her daughter had become a serious problem and she was at one time spoiling for a fight with her.
The last straw was when she reported her father to the police for disciplining her.
Elena then arranged a trip to Zimbabwe on the guise that there was a wedding. Then she took her to Hurungwe and hid her passport.
Elena flew back to the UK, leaving the daughter behind. After some months of natural lessons in the motherland, the daughter became a changed person.
She would call UK to say good morning to her mother. It took her that lesson to realise simple etiquette.
Mr Matenga said he was aware of six families who had made the tough decision, including a girl who was engaged in drug orgies.
He said at least two families had seen their children return and go on to get jobs or study at universities in Zimbabwe.
Some people in the UK have said some families decide to send their children to Zimbabwe because of growing gang and drug problems in England.
Fearing their kids could be caught up in the violence, they decided to act.
“Things are stricter back home. The schools are quite harsh and the kids have to perform well,” said Mr Matenga.
Tapiwa Mhike who was once sent back to Dotito for misbehaving in the UK, had this to say: “I felt betrayed to an extent, but maturity helped me realise the situation was my own doing due to my behaviour. But part of me held hope I would come back soon.”
While sending children back to Zimbabwe is a noble idea, the children could actually end up having a negative view of the country as a place of punishment.
But the reality is that negative experiences of Britain’s immigration system and other key institutions are taking their toll on black African parents’ trust of and engagement with child welfare services.
In the face of historical issues, it’s not surprising that many parents are afraid that authorities (including the police and courts) are unfair, and therefore likely to harm their children’s opportunities.
As much as Zimbabwe may end up being characterised as a training ground for children, these children must be properly taught that it is home and the only home they have.
Let us teach our children in the diaspora that Zimbabwe is home.
Online Reporter