adminDr Mazvita Machinga/
DEALING with loss is not easy and I decided to write this post because I have recently been seeing a number of people living with loss. What I have learned from this experience has made me share this post. I know there is someone who will benefit from this post.
Some loved one’s passing is gradual, while some pass so fast that you do not even have time to chat with them before they die. Some survivors find tough time in letting go. Friends tell them to get over it, let go and move on, but they find that extremely hard to do.
This is understandable and normal. The first weeks and months after one’s loss of a loved one are the most difficult. You don’t have to go it alone. Let it be known that there is help available for those living with loss.
It could be loss of a loved one, loss of a relationship, loss of status or loss of anything that is important to you. “Living with Loss Support Groups” are available for anyone who is struggling to get through the pain of grief and loss. It is in relation to one another that you can heal and recover from the pain of grief.
These support groups allow you to share your experiences, strength and hope with other people in similar circumstances. Living with Loss is a special programme for families and caring, individuals, professionals presented by the Pastoral Care and Counseling Services (PVO 18/2010), a registered mental health service provider in Mutare.
This programme provides education and emotional support for individuals who have lost loved ones or who are going through the pain of grief. This support is done through a full-day seminar which offers resources and expertise on how to support survivors as they learn to live beyond loss experienced in life. It is also done through voluntary get-together meetings that are done once every week.
As a qualified psychotherapist, I have worked with families and communities grieving from various things such as suicide and traumatic death in a wide range of contexts – from hospitals to university/college campuses to homes. When somebody you love leaves this world, you feel like the end of the world has come. The end of the world as you knew it, the end of the world for you and this beautiful person.
Now you will be living in a completely different world, a new world where the person you love so dearly is no more, at least not physically but that doesn’t mean they are no longer here with you. You still have the memories, and the wishes of the loved ones.
Here are important factors that can help you heal and recover from grief:
1. Feel the pain and embrace it. Surround yourself with caring people. There are things that we don’t want to happen but have to accept.
2. Express your pain in a way that is helpful and safe for you. It’s okay to cry but keep in mind that life goes on and if you can’t find the inner strength to let go of the grief and “come back to life” you will miss many precious moments with many of the people that are still alive and want to share their love with you.
3. Live the pain and when you’re ready, know that it’s okay to let go of it for the healing process can’t be complete until you learn to let go.
4. Let go of the grief – Grieving is part of the healing process and its okay to be sad. Remember there are people we can’t live without but have to let go if we cannot change the situation.
5. Gradually start moving on with life – It can be really dangerous to stay in the grieving mode for too long and if you get stuck at this level, you will also sadden the many people that are present in your life. Talk about how important your loved one was.
6. Celebrate the life of a loved one who is gone. The people that once lived, the people we loved and still love so dearly want us to remember the many beautiful and precious moments we spent with them and focus on that and nothing else. Do something in remembrance of your loved one. Set a trust fund, do a charity contribution and others in remembrance of your loved one. These are just few ways that may be of help.
For more information on grief and bereavement education and emotional support contact
Dr Mazvita Machinga, a qualified psychotherapist at [email protected] or call 0771 754 519/ 0778838410.
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