Online Reporter
Laina Makuzha
LOVE by DESIGN
WHEN it comes to matters of the heart, the adage:”yevaviri haipindirwe . . .” seems to have renewed meaning nowadays.
What with the stranger-than-fiction stories one might come across in the news or social media platforms.
We are seeing in today’s media‑saturated world, how the private lives of celebrity couples and influencers often become public spectacles. Every disagreement, rumour, or misstep is magnified, dissected, and debated endlessly across various platforms and news outlets.
While curiosity is natural, the danger lies in how quickly we transform such personal struggles into entertainment. When marriages face challenges — whether through infidelity, unmet expectations, or the pursuit of greener pastures — the public response often leans towards judgment, speculation, and gossip. Yet what couples truly need in such moments is not a chorus of critics, but a circle of compassion and sound counsel.
Whether lived in the spotlight or in quiet anonymity, marriages are complex unions. They involve two individuals navigating love, growth, and sometimes deception and failure.
Mistakes might happen, and choices may hurt, but I reckon healing requires some degree of privacy and patience. When outsiders fuel the fire with commentary, memes, or endless debates, they inadvertently deepen wounds and make reconciliation harder. Imagine trying to mend a fragile bond while millions of strangers weigh in on your every move. The pressure can be unbearable, and the noise can drown out the voices that matter most – the couple themselves.
No doubt, there are some couples or individuals who seem to just enjoy entertaining the world with their drama. The lines between real situations that call for support, celebration or empathy — and just creative content — can be so blurred in this advent of social media.
We have, however, seen how some genuine couples curve under social media pressure and start playing to the gallery, driven into the snare of just performing for the audience rather than facing the truth within and focussing on their relationship. Instead of confronting issues honestly, such individuals seem to feel compelled to project an image of strength, arrogance or perfection to satisfy public expectations. In doing so, the healing process is delayed, and authenticity is sacrificed for applause. What should be a private journey of reconciliation becomes a staged performance, driven not by love but by the fear of losing public approval or ‘Likes’ and views.
Instead of fanning flames, society can actually choose empathy. Do not get me wrong, offering support does not mean excusing harmful behaviour; it means recognising that human beings are fallible and that relationships are journeys, not performances. Infidelity, for example, is painful and destructive, but it is also a matter for the couple to confront together. Outsiders cannot fully grasp the context, the history, or the emotions involved. By stepping back, we allow those directly affected to process, reflect, and decide their path forward without the added burden of public judgment.
Giving couples space is an act of respect. It acknowledges their right to privacy and their capacity to resolve issues in their own way. It also shifts the cultural narrative from one of condemnation to one of compassion. Rather than speculating about who is at fault or predicting the outcome, we can choose to be silent supporters. When advice is sought, we can offer it gently and constructively. When it is not, we can refrain from imposing our opinions.
As individuals, we have the power to positively contribute to the tone of public discourse. We can decide whether to amplify gossip or to cultivate grace. Choosing love over judgment does not mean ignoring wrongdoing nor condoning it; it means refusing to weaponise it for clicks and conversations. It means recognising that every couple deserves the chance to work through their challenges without the public fuelling conflict.
We probably all know of a couple or two whose laundry is out in public domains right now. Whether they brought it to the public themselves or not — in the interests of promoting dignity of marriage and sound steady relationships — I still reckon giving couples the space to heal, reflect and decide their future, is worth consideration. In so doing, we affirm a simple but profound truth: compassion builds, while judgment or gossip destroys.
Some comment section debates seem to pit men and women against each other.
On the one hand I hear those supporting the empowerment of women folk, that the days of whimpering in a corner as a damsel in distress after a man walks out or develops ‘extra curricular’ activities’ as some might refer to infidelity are “so last decade!”
These hold the view that a woman in such a situation today should dust herself up, count her losses and move on right ahead, unapologetically and with focus.
This stands in stark contrast to another school of thought which advocates for, ‘shaming’ of such women for choosing to pursue a happier life for themselves and their children. Name calling seems acceptable in this school of thought.
They believe the offended or unhappy woman should somehow stomach the pain, the shame or humiliation and navigate the challenges in her union, of course without letting go of the relationship, regardless of the man’s shenanigans. Apparently in this thinking, it is ‘normal’ and manly for the man to do what he pleases, without facing consequences.
When we apply the Word of God however, which I love to do ,it does not apply to one side of gender and not the other. It speaks to both. Husbands and wives can prayerfully find great instruction and guidance to understand their roles towards each other in marriage.
The Bible puts it out there as it is and as it should be. Ephesians 5v 22-33 and 1 Cor 13 v 1-8 are passages of scripture that couples can study together and draw wisdom from. I have so much to share in suggestions for these celebrity couples. Anyone in need can reach out and I would gladly share.
In matters of the heart, the outcome haisi yekufungidzira zvekumhanya. Resist the urge to speculate, criticise, or mock.
There can be twists and turns and huge surprises in the outcome. Loved ones should rather just offer support, be there as needed, when a friend or family member is going through trials in love — without trying to determine the outcome. Sometimes that is all that is needed.
If you have a story of triumph in love, or encountered challenges that nearly broke you, do share on how you overcame or dealt with the situation.
Someone might glean from your wisdom or the lessons you learnt. The holidays are upon us, yipee!! May you have a very Merry Christmas and a prosperous 2026.
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