Online Reporter
Laina Makuzha-LOVE by DESIGN
Last week, we reflected on the power of submission in marriage, rooted in God’s Word. This week, I am compelled by a heartfelt discussion among sisters in Christ who shared their struggles as having experienced abuse in their Christian homes —women who feel unsupported, judged, or silenced within the very walls of the Church. Their pain is real, their scars deep and their voices often unheard.
As we have often seen even in the news, abuse is not confined to the streets; it is rife in homes, and tragically, even among believers.
Organisations offering support and relief to abuse survivors in Zimbabwe, have been tireless in their advocacy, offering shelters, counselling and legal aid. Helplines by some of the organisations for instance, have saved countless lives. Yet, despite these efforts, many women remain trapped in silence — including those within the church, where fear of judgment and gossip keeps them hidden.
Abuse in the house of God
It is disturbing to acknowledge that some of the most manipulative and abusive behaviours come from men and women who are active in the Church.
Consequently, some have put the name of the Church in disrepute, or even caused some believers to backslide. Surely this should not be so. The church (the individual or the collective) is meant to be a refuge, a sanctuary of healing, not an entity where scars are concealed under forced smiles while hearts are bleeding.
I like to turn to the Bible wisdom in search of answers. Proverbs 31v8-9 says: “Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, ensure justice for those being crushed”.
Silence in the face of abuse can have debilitating effects and can be misconstrued for complicity. God cares about His daughters and sons going through tough situations. Psalm 34:18 reminds us: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit”.
If God Himself draws near to the wounded, how can His church turn away? Many churches do have programmes in place,that could be offering this support, but some honest reflection is needed: Is it really enough? Could we all do better?
Conflict management experts have long advocated that churches must embrace confidential, survivor-centred counselling. Gossip and judgment only deepen wounds. In their study on pastoral care, theologians Vhumani Magezi and Peter Manzanga observed: “Churches are a critical community institution that could play a pivotal role in addressing GBV. Public pastoral care must be embraced to confront abuse and provide survivor-centred support.”
The Church has a pivotal role that cannot be ignored. So this is not about blame or shaming,but an appeal to hearts that hear God — to step up to the plate and serve their God-given mandate of protecting the vulnerable.
Some thoughts on how the church can help stop abuse
Educate congregations: Invite experts to speak on GBV’s devastating impact on families.
Confidential counselling: Train discreet counsellors who can walk with survivors without judgment.
Zero tolerance: Confront abusive church leaders or members — no one is above accountability.
Safe spaces: create support groups where survivors can share their pain without ridicule.
Partnerships: Work hand-in-hand with organisations already in the trenches,we have several in Zimbabwe.
A loving appeal
Far too many women sit in silence, scarred and afraid, even within the Church. Some seem to regard the topic of domestic violence/abuse as taboo in the church, and tend to have a laisse fair approach. Abuse, however, must be confronted, not hidden. Healing must be offered, not withheld. Men of God who abuse their wives must be taken to task — after all, to whom much is given,much is required. Women of faith who manipulate or harm loved ones or their flock, must also be corrected. The body of Christ cannot afford to ignore this plague.
Love, as we often remind ourselves in this column, is not one-sided. It is a balance of roles, rooted in God’s original intent. When couples seek God’s face, adjust their attitudes, and align their hearts, marriages can flourish. But abuse destroys this balance and must be eradicated.
Final thoughts
Ultimately,I believe love can be beautiful with the right approach, support and guidance. Let us be the hands and feet of Christ to the brokenhearted. Let us be the safe space where scars can be revealed and healed. Let us step up efforts to stand with organisations carrying out genuine restorative work, complementing their work with spiritual and emotional support.
This article is by no means exhaustive, so per usual, I invite your comments, views, and testimonies on this urgent issue. If you are in need, please do not wait any longer, do reach out — help is available. And a quick reminder, do look out for upcoming episodes of ‘Love Unscripted’, the podcast inspired by this column, where we will continue these vital conversations.
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