Sundaymail Editor“Where do broken hearts go? Do they find their way home?”
I have been listening to this legendary Whitney Houston song over and over again trying to find answers on what really happens after a heart is broken.
The other day I intimated here that I had stumbled upon a group of men and women who said they had a common interest in matters of the heart. When I first came across this group, I mentioned that I had noted that the group comprised mostly of women in their mid-30s and above to some as old as myself – hitting 50. I was not sure whether it was a dating agency or what.
I also noted then, that the women seemed to be searching for love and I promised that I would give more details here once I had gathered enough information.
Matters of the Heart was motivated by a radio programme by the same name that discusses issues of love and brings together both attached and lonely hearts. They have formed a Whatsapp group where they counsel and tip each other on how to navigate the high seas called love and it has become a platform where broken and lonely hearts can mend and find love again. Last weekend about 25 members from the group had an outing at the Domboshawa Caves where, happily three or so couples found each other from there!
Ah, what a good job to the guys behind Matters of the Heart group, SpotFM radio presenter Gertrude Jaricha and Kingstone Makoni. Good job! Special mention to Balbena and Lucky! The outing did good to a lot of us, especially the busy hearts like us who rarely find time to just go out and explore the world. Well done!
Over to today’s issue.
Sometime ago we discussed on this platform what I described as a new national hobby that has hit the country -cheating, with the said cheating generally affecting married couples and unmarried young people who are supposed to be dating, still trying to get to know each other.
Having listened to the radio a few days ago, I felt we should explore further reasons why people cheat, starting with the female side of the cheats. Women, according to the women themselves, (at least those that I talked to), cheat in relationships due to a variety of reasons chief among them being revenge.
Men have always believed that they can cheat in a relationship and get away with it. Generally, society tolerates or even encourages a man to cheat in order to prove their manhood but on the other side the same society seems to shun on a woman who cheats. Some of the women that I spoke to said after discovering that their men were cheating or had cheated, they were tempted to also cheat as a way of revenge.
“I have been married for 11 years and have been a faithful wife. I have discovered he has been involved with several women. When I tried to engage him, he boasted about it. That spurred me,” said a sister.
The thing is when men cheat, they shift attention from their wives to the ‘new’ women. Because, the men is not always available, loneliness then drives the women to cheat as they seek attention. So men who cheat are warned, while you are out cheating, she is also busy with, probably your friend!
The other reason, according to the listeners who called in to the radio programme, was that women cheat for financial gain.
The listeners argued that stingy male partners drive their women straight into the arms of generous men. The woman simply reasons that if this man won’t give me money either for her upkeep or running the household, she will get it from another man who is willing to.
Mainini tends to agree that if this one man won’t release the much needed funds, let women get it from those who are willing to give it. And please stop moralising on those morals you don’t even have!
The women also said they would cheat because of physical attraction. One woman confessed that she is married to a loving, generous and kind, short, fat man but is physically attracted to tall, thin men.
She said of course, she felt guilty after cheating but always does it again! She takes the crown, this one.
And finally one of the major reasons why women cheat was that if intimacy was not properly handled, that would drive the woman into another man’s open arms.
A story was told of a couple who were having their morning glory but the man was done in a few seconds, leaving the woman hanging. She purported to go outside to wash the man’s shirt but simply moved into a co-tenant’s room where she pleaded with him to finish the job. And the rest became history!
But babamunini Ngoni, (remember that blessed brother-in-law of mine who hates pubic hair with a passion), believes even good and honest women do cheat once or so in their life time for no apparent reason. He calls that chance or spontaneous cheating.
Let’s keep talking to Mainini on [email protected]
Online Reporter