adminthe other person for whatever reason is suppressing real feelings.
We are all different and this diversity of understandings makes life interesting.
When the word conflict is mentioned most people get frightened. The word invokes images of anger, shouting, violence and even death. They do not want to even think of it and will do anything to avoid it.
Traditionally, conflicts have generally escalated to the point of being dysfunctional and hurtful. This does not have to be the case; conflicts that are well managed can have very positive outcome and results for all.
In order to make the most of conflict an appreciation of the diversity of people is necessary. People come from different backgrounds, genders, families, tribes, races and nationalities. They have different political and religious persuasions; values and beliefs vary, to the extent that some are even radically opposed to each other.
This kind of diversity provides fertile ground for conflict. If you put a militant homosexual or lesbian in the same room as a person with strong Christian convictions, the potential for fireworks is very high. This is the same in the case of persons with strongly held but opposing political persuasions.
Once diversity is appreciated and the fact that some people’s views are never going to be the same as ours is understood the process of relating productively can be started.
First, instead of concentrating on differences we need to think about common aspirations. Though our feelings on certain issues will differ strongly to the point of abhorrence, the truth is human beings all want and need certain basics for survival. We all need a stable, safe and resource accessing environment.
We all need to eat and we all need somewhere to live, so basics like food, water, electricity, job security, health security, social security funds, pensions, functional economies and the like are common to all.
The more these basics are available to all the less the likelihood of unproductive or destructive conflict.
Studies have shown that there is a certain societal economic threshold at which the probability of dysfunctional or violent conflict subsides. People are just not angry enough to kill someone; they have too much to lose if they do something so silly.
Economically desperate people can be manipulated into destructive conflicts. Truly a hungry man is an angry man, give the man some food and somewhere to stay and he will be more civil and amenable.
Second, the language from those in leadership should be well tempered. Hate speech and anger can incite violence in followers. Some followers are very zealous, sometimes over-zealous. When they sense anger or hatred in their leaders they will carry out the perceived desires of their leader.
So if the leader’s language is venomous to the extent of sounding like he or she will tear somebody apart, some followers will do exactly that. Fathers need to be careful what they say to their sons.
For example, if I have a disagreement with my friend and I strongly express my anger to my son, that conflict has just taken on a new dimension. Because of youth and intemperance, my son, can take issues further than I thought.
Political leaders in the African understandings of leadership are like fathers and mothers in the nation. When they speak they hold a certain level of authority that should not be underestimated or abused.
Third, those entrusted with upholding law and order must do so swiftly, firmly and without partiality. The police and the judiciary are absolutely central to the stability of nations.
A weak police force and judiciary opens the gates for impunity (the idea that one is exempted from punishment or loss due to crime) and unfettered chaos.
Once people have the idea that they can literally get away with murder then all hell breaks loose. Criminals and perpetrators of violence must be caught, tried, convicted and sentenced. Only then can people freely express their diverse views without fear of reprisal.
Fourth, the expression of polarised views should not necessarily mean that physical violence is the only way out. We should be able to strongly disagree but still work together towards certain fundamental commonly shared goals.
The American system of governance provides us with many lessons. I am not saying we should adopt everything American just because it is American, I am saying there are some things we can learn from them and there are other things which we will do well to avoid.
When it comes to elections we have much to learn. The elections are hotly contested, the divergent views are allowed full and free expression, but instead of resulting in violence, once the elections are over and a winner is announced, all put aside their differences, unify and work with the chosen leader to the best of their ability and for the sake of their country.
They might disagree strongly with some of what the leader stands for, but for the sake of their country they choose to co-operate with the chosen leader.
The election process is a learning experience for all concerned and provides a platform to gauge personal strengths and weaknesses. The process is competitive and adversarial but it is controlled, and never allowed to escalate and boil over. Divergent views are expressed but it is done in a respectful manner. Hate speech and inflammatory language are frowned upon and rejected, anyone who goes that route is almost sure to not be elected.
Conflict should then not be seen as something fearful or unmanageable. To the contrary, it should be anticipated and seen as inevitable. Proactive measures to prevent conflicts from escalating into non-productive violence should be taken. Conflict sharpens us; divergent views are the spice of life; instead of destroying us they should make us stronger. When well anticipated and managed, conflicts can propel us to new horizons.
We are going into elections in 2013, let us make the most of our diversity, and let us seek to understand one another. We might not agree but let us at least have love not hatred, compassion and empathy rather than malice and jealousy.
Let us be self-sacrificing, prepared to lay down our own strongly held convictions for the sake of peace with our brothers and sisters who might feel differently.
The best we can do is to provide a safe and secure environment and then allow people to freely choose the course of life they want to the best of their understanding. For better or worse they will reap the fruits of their chosen path.
The secret is to know what we can change and what we cannot change, what to leave alone and what to try to influence. Ultimately we must understand that we are not God, in fact not even God stops people from doing what they want, so how can we mere mortals try to do what God does not.
Dwight Mutonono is the Executive Director at the Africa Leadership and Management Academy. He can be contacted at [email protected]
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