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Rosenthal Mutakati Ghetto Blast
The child’s age and level of education do not matter. There seems to be a worm in today’s children which makes them think they are the best dressers, they know best how to spend cash, and that they are in general wiser than the parent. The moment today’s children see someone older, they automatically think that person comes second best.
“Haa mudhara ungandiudza chiiko iwe? Zvamunoziva imi hazvina staera. Tisu vemazuva ano tinoziva,” the children will tell you straight in the face, while donning the clothes you bought, watching your television set and tucking into platefuls of food you bought.
It is difficult to give the children an assignment and have it carried out strictly to the letter without being asked “why” and “what is in it for me?”
Nowadays parents literally have to pay their children to get work around the home done. If you want the young soul to make his bed, there has to be an inducement. Kamari kasina divi rakakarerekera kuti zviite.
“I am your child and not a domestic servant. I need time to relax. Remember, I also have a life to worry about,” I heard a neighbouring old man being told.
“Vakomana musatiseka takabvawo neko/Vasikana musatiseka takabvawo neko/Vana vemazuva ano mukaona chembere moseka/Vana vemazuva ano mukaona harahwa moseka/Ndaimbova jaya rainetsa mazuva angu/Ndaimbova mhandara yainetsa vazuva angu/Ko iwe wakazvarwa wakadaro here muzukuru?/ Hauone here kuti kukura kwauri kuita?/Mazuva mazhinji, makushe emombe mashoma funga/” sang the late Marshall Munhumumwe and the Four Brothers in this song called Musatiseka.
True to the song, today’s manipulative children view their parents as useless individuals whose claim to fame perhaps is that they were just born earlier.
If there is no food in the home, the children will tell you that they never applied to be born.
Some of these errant little people will even proceed to sell your empty beer bottles or anything they can lay their hands on just to get money in their pockets.
The children of today literally run our homes. They give you timetables to watch television. No matter that you are watching news or some other interesting programme, they can start switching channels without asking to be excused.
If there is a car at home, you are assured the same will be taken for a joyride at the expense of family convenience.
It can be worse if you are billed to visit their school for consultation day.
These children will tell you what to put on and how to conduct yourself there or you risk being disowned.
“Mudhara mukauya kuchikoro kwangu makapfeka zikabudura renyu iroro hamundione. I will simply run away from you because I cannot be identified with a parent who does not dress properly,” a girl will warn her dad.
Whenever their friends visit, cheap relish like matemba, sugar beans or muboora (pumpkin leaves) is hidden until the visitors have left so that word spreads at school that “at so and so’s home they are sitting in the lap of luxury”.
These children of today also have a predilection for “playing” adult games which often result in them falling pregnant or being forced to marry in their jobless state.
But that will never stop them from keeping on demanding.
As I commit pen to paper gentle reader, parents have become strangers in their own homes.
They are not allowed to ask anything or they risk being told: “Mudhara apa mavekunyanya kuda kundijairira.”
Some not-so-lucky parents have been slapped by their children for not leaving enough money for them to buy beer.
Parents are being blackmailed into hosting parties by offspring who are totally unprepared to pursue academics.
Changes to laws which make it criminal to administer corporal punishment are like putting icing on an already poisoned cake.
The girl child now has latitude to fall pregnant as many times as she wishes under your roof and any moves to chase her away attracts penalties.
Boys too offer similar problems to their parents. They love women even though they have nothing to give them and expect life to go on as usual at the expense of the parent.
Being a parent nowadays is akin to committing a crime.
The late preacher Pastor Chiweshe used to say “baba vebenzi havana mufaro”, and his words were real.
There is just something about today’s child that bids on authorities to put their heads together to put them on the right track.
The way today’s children behave has brought business for counsellors and preachers who are collecting cash from burdened parents seeking help on how best to live with such monsters under the roofs of their houses.
Children of nowadays roar louder than lions.
The way they dress leaves a lot to be desired even though they claim that such attire will be in vogue.
Girls are putting on skimpy outfits which leave their body contours well-defined, making it difficult for them to relax and discuss issues freely with their parents. Their boyfriends sometimes budge in the home and if you are not strict enough, the dudes have the guts to sleep over even without paying a dime.
“My son can be the sweetest, most awesome kid in the world,” Dudzai said of her son Kudzi. “But he has a disability he totally uses to his advantage with us. He would have huge meltdowns when we asked him to go to bed and turn off the light.”
Kids manipulate their parents. It’s part of their normal routine. They learn to use their charms and strengths to get their way.
On the other hand, that charm can be used inappropriately, such as when a child plays one parent against the other to get what he wants. Or when a child has demonstrated previously untrustworthy behaviour and tries to manipulate his parents by being overly sweet and compliant in order to get the chance to go out on Friday night.
According to researchers, the real problem with manipulation is when kids use behavioural threats to manipulate you.
“Give me my way or face my crap.” In other words, “If I don’t get my way, I’m going to make trouble for you.”
In this situation, the manipulation becomes a power and control game for the child, and that’s where it gets dangerous for parents. When kids are wrestling with their parents for power and control over things, the child does things that are inappropriate, and the parents do things that are ineffective.
The child talks abusively or pitches a fit, which is an inappropriate way to get what he wants, and the parent backs down or gives in, which is an ineffective response.
A good example of how this power struggle plays out in the home is when a child starts talking about going out in the evening and you tell him, “No, your homework’s not done, so you can’t go out until it’s done,” and the child’s voice gets louder as he resists, and his tone gets harsher.
You may look at it as anger, frustration or an inability to handle stress on the part of the child. But it’s really a sign that the child is trying to manipulate the situation — and you — through power.
In his mind, being harsher and louder will tip the balance in his direction. The child is making a power thrust, an attempt to use some form of behaviour or verbally abusive power to get his way. It’s like an emotional sword in his hand and he thrusts it at you.
Gentle reader, children bring fun, but it’s not bad to be always in control.
Inotambika mughetto.
Online Reporter