Online Reporter
Coach Molly Chuma
Grooming Correspondent
THE festive season is meant to be a time of joy, rest and connection.
It is the period many people look forward to all year — a time marked by reunions, celebrations, shared meals and moments of gratitude.
Yet, paradoxically, it is also the season where our values are tested the most.
There is often too much food, too much noise, too much spending and too much pressure, and sometimes, far too little restraint. In the abundance and excitement of the season, it becomes easy to forget ourselves.
How we behave during this season reveals who we truly are.
Festivity does not suspend manners. If anything, it magnifies them. When routines are disrupted and social calendars are full, our habits, character and emotional intelligence become more visible. Family gatherings, office parties, church events and end-of-year celebrations place us in shared spaces where courtesy, self-control and respect matter deeply. Etiquette is not about being stiff, outdated or overly formal. It is about being considerate, especially when emotions, alcohol and expectations run high.
At the table, manners speak louder than words. Waiting for others before eating, moderating portions, chewing thoughtfully and engaging in pleasant, inclusive conversation show respect for both the host and fellow guests. In a season marked by abundance, restraint becomes a quiet but powerful form of discipline. Taking more than one needs, piling plates excessively or wasting food, particularly in a country where many are struggling, speaks volumes about one’s awareness and values. Good table manners are not about perfection; they are about mindfulness.
Alcohol, often present during festive celebrations, deserves special mention. Celebration should never excuse a loss of control. True confidence is displayed in knowing one’s limits, declining politely when necessary and maintaining dignity regardless of the atmosphere. Drinking excessively, becoming loud, inappropriate or argumentative may be laughed off in the moment, but the consequences often linger long after the celebration ends. No party is worth a damaged reputation, compromised safety or a broken relationship.
Our treatment of service staff during the festive season is another important measure of character. Whether interacting with waiters, cleaners, hotel staff, petrol attendants or helpers in family homes, politeness costs nothing. Greeting staff, making eye contact, saying “please” and “thank you,” and exercising patience during busy periods reflect inner refinement and humility. Courtesy should never be reserved only for those we consider our equals. How we treat people who serve us often reveals more about us than how we treat those we wish to impress.
The festive season is also a powerful classroom for children and teenagers. They are watching closely, not just what we say, but what we do. How we greet elders, how we speak when frustrated, how we handle disagreements and how we express gratitude all become lessons they carry forward. Good manners are not taught in a single lecture. They are modelled consistently. Adults who demonstrate respect, restraint and kindness give young people a blueprint for how to navigate social spaces with confidence and grace.
Social boundaries, too, are essential during this season. Festivity should not give licence to intrusive questions, gossip or disrespectful humour. Asking someone about marriage, finances, weight or personal struggles under the guise of “catching up” can cause unnecessary discomfort. Etiquette teaches us to be socially intelligent — to know what to say, when to say it and when silence is kinder. True connection is built on empathy, not interrogation.
Hosting during the festive season is an act of leadership. A gracious host creates an environment where guests feel welcomed, seen and comfortable. This does not require extravagance or perfection. Warm greetings, thoughtful seating, clear communication, timely meals and a calm demeanour leave a lasting impression long after decorations are packed away. Hospitality is less about what is served and more about how people are made to feel.
Ultimately, the festive season reminds us that values are not seasonal. Manners should not disappear because the calendar says December. Dignity should not be optional because the mood is relaxed. As we celebrate, let us remember that how we carry ourselves is part of the legacy we leave. Long after the music fades and the tables are cleared, people remember how we made them feel.
Festivity tests our values. May we pass that test with grace.
Coach Molly Chuma is a grooming and etiquette coach and leadership development mentor, and the founder of The Luminary Institute of Leadership and Etiquette. She works with professionals, executives and organisations on confidence, presence and professional conduct.
Contact: [email protected]
