Marrying younger man sure way to early grave

Mercy Ngwebvu
“These relationships don’t work because it’s built on lust and curiosity and just the physical part of the relationship. Younger men don’t want to settle down long-term or even have serious relationships with older women.
“When a younger man wants to settle down, he picks youth, beauty, and fertility. And older women just can’t compete with that. Older women tend to be easier and more sexually experienced than their younger counterparts, but that’s where it stops.”

These were the words of one man who confided in us that for seven years, he had dated an older woman but when he finally settled down, he chose someone his age.

The issue of older women being in relationships with younger men is becoming popular by the day but the question we need to ask ourselves is: Are these relationships healthy or they are just there to put our noble traditions into disrepute?

While some women may be adamant, saying there is nothing wrong with marrying a younger man, researchers say the secret to a longer life is to marry someone the same age, at least if you are a woman and they have concluded that the best a woman can do is to marry someone the same age or slightly older.

Besides, almost all the men who admitted to have dated older women said they were not into the relationships for love — most of them were just after the money.

So on top of milking you of all your money only to opt for someone younger in the end, these younger men also shorten your life expectancy — just some free advice to cougar mums out there!

Marriage generally improves life expectancy, but the age gaps between a couple affects the life expectancy of men and women very differently.

Studies have shown that marrying an older man shortens a woman’s lifespan, but having a younger husband reduces it even more.
Health records have shown previously that men live longer if they have a younger wife, an effect researchers expected to see mirrored in women who married younger men.

However, a woman who is between seven and nine years older than her husband has a 20 percent greater mortality rate than if she were with a man the same age. “My boyfriend is nine years younger than me but we love each other — at least that is how I feel.

“The only problem we have is that our families have not consented to our relationship and I should say that alone eats me up so much. It raises my sugar levels from time to time though my boyfriend is always supportive,” said one woman from Hospital Hill who is in a relationship with a younger man.

This woman’s case confirms the fact that a woman who marries a younger man has more stresses than joys.
Since marrying a younger husband deviates from what is regarded as normal, these couples could be regarded as outsiders and receive less social support, thereby resulting in a less joyful and more stressful life, reduced health, and finally, increased mortality, especially for the woman.

Some explanation may lie in the quality of friendships men and women have throughout life. Women tend to have more close friendships outside marriage and so benefit less than men from having a partner.

Unlike the benefits of a younger wife, a younger husband wouldn’t help extend the life of his older wife by taking care of her, going for a walk with her and enjoying late life together.

She already has friends for that. The older man, however, doesn’t.
Women marrying a partner seven to nine years younger increase their relative mortality risk by 20 percent compared with couples where both are the same age. But the relative mortality risk of a husband who is seven to nine years older is reduced by 11 percent.

So, for women, the greater the age difference with her husband (whether older or younger), the lower her life expectancy. Women live longest when they marry a spouse of the same age. An older husband shortens her life, but a younger husband does even more so.

Besides being cognisant of their lives, women should also know that marrying younger men remains unacceptable, especially in a setup like that of Zimbabwe.

Instead of seeing a potential husband in a younger man, sometimes as younger as their own sons, women in Zimbabwe should be respectful of our culture and only see brothers and sons in younger men, nothing else.

Though it is a fact that the media has taken over people’s lives by storm, traditions, norms and values should continue to be respected.