Online Reporter
YOU get top marks from examiners when you zoom in on people and emotion. Let us go back to Body 3 for ‘A horrific accident’ discussed last week.
Body 3 — People and emotion. The people told the real story. A man set on the edge of the tar, both hands pressed to his head as if he could hold it together. His shirt was torn and dust clung to the blood on his arms. A young woman crawled from the passenger side, her face pale and her lips moving but no sound came out.
Her eyes were wide and fixed on nothing. Around them, onlookers stood frozen, their phones up but no one knew what to say. My own chest felt tight and my breath came fast. Fear sat heavy in my stomach, cold and sick. In that moment, the whole street felt small, broken and quiet.
Why this works: Specific human details: hands to head, pale face, lips moving, wide eyes. Emotion without telling:
“chest felt tight,” “fear sat heavy” — show, don’t tell. Ends on mood: small broken and quiet to set up your conclusion. Now you have introduction +Body 1 + Body 2 + Body 3. All you need is a three-line conclusion that gives one final image.
Here is a conclusion to finish ‘A horrific accident.’
Conclusion: Long after the sirens faded and the tow trucks left, the street did not feel the same. The smell of petrol still hung in the air and the glass glittered like broken stars on the tar. In my mind, the sound of that jammed horn echoed again and again. A horrific accident does not end when the cars are moved. It stays, printed on your eyes, your nose, your skin.
Full essay check — Five paragraphs. Introduction; Set scene + mood. Body 1: Sight + sound of crash. Body 2: Smell +touch up close. Body 3: People + emotion Conclusion: Final image + lasting mood.
This is a solid 20/20 structure for the public examination Paper 1. All description, no story, no lesson. Let us have another warm practice on “The Market”. Use the same 5 senses formula, way less blood this time. Use the same five-paragraph structure so your brain remembers it.
The Market — practice essay skeleton. In the introduction you set the scene + the mood. Pick time: early morning work best. Crowd + noise + energy. Example: Saturday 7am at the City Market hits you before you see it. The air itself feels alive.
Body 1 — Sight + sound. See colours, crowds, goods piled high. Hear: vendors shouting, music from radios, footsteps, laughter. Words to use: bustling, overflowing, blaring, echoing. Body 2 — Smell and taste. Smell: roasting maize, sweat, fish, spices, dust. Taste: dust in mouth, sweet mango sample a vendor gives you. Words: pungent, sweet, bitter, sticky.
Body 3 — Touch and emotion. Touch: heat of sun, people bumping you, rough maize cobs, damp money. Emotion: excitement, overwhelm, energy that makes you feel alive. Words: cramped, sweaty, vibrating, electric.
Conclusion — Final image and mood. Leave reader with one picture and feeling. Example: “By midday the dust settles, but the noise and colour of the market stay ringing in your ears”. What is the difference between story writing and descriptive writing?
Descriptive is equal to frozen picture. A story is a moving film. There is a big difference between the two. The story structure has a five-pint spine the public examination board wants. You need this even if the topic says, “Write a story”. Examiners mark for flow. Exposition — Beginning: Who, where, when. Set calm before chaos. It was a quiet
Tuesday at the City Market. Rising action. Something goes wrong or changes. Tension builds. Then I noticed the boy running with a bag and people shouting “Thief!!”
Climax- Peak: The most exciting moment. One scene only. “He slipped, the bag burst open and money scattered across the tar”. Falling Action: Aftermath of the peak. Things start to settle. “The crowed grabbed the notes. The boy lay still on the ground.”
Resolution — Ending: How it ends + how you feel. Can be happy, sad twist. “By evening, the market was normal again. But I kept hearing the boy’s silence. Rule: Do not write 10 events. Write one event in detail. The public examination loves depth over length.
Other narratives you will see in Paper 1 under type of essay, what it means and the key tip in those topics. Narrative is a sequence of events. What it means it should have a plot and characters. The kip on this one is use dialogue sparingly. one-line maximum for realism.
Use the first person ‘I’ where you are the character. What it means is that it is easy for emotion and senses. Key tip,
“My heart pounded or he felt scared. Third person. He/she. You watch the character. It is good for drama and distance. Stick to one character’s view.
Memorable day. Subtype of narrative. Focus on one day that changed you. Start in middle of action or impact. Note that these are examples of compositions and the way you can approach them when you write. The idea is not necessarily to copy them but read and not how they are done to improve your work.
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