Sundaymail Editor
Tanyaradzwa Rusike
For years, the fight against gender-based violence (GBV) has intensified, but the narrative of men who have had to endure abuse at the hands of their spouses is rarely told in the country.
Given the prevalence of patriarchal gender stereotypes in Zimbabwe’s society, there is a possibility that there are numerous men that suffer in silence at the hands of abusive women.
In an interview with The Sunday Mail Online, PaDare acting director, Dr Thando Makubaza, said gender stereotypes cause men to be afraid of speaking out about abuse they suffer at the hands of women.
“Men especially in Zimbabwe or Africa are brought up in a culture that has taught them to believe that they are strong. As such, they do not share their problems and they pretend that all is well because they are supposed to be the head of their families.
“Society assumes that men are super human beings who can solve their problems,” said Dr Makubaza.
“However, as PaDare we are there to change the narrative and support GBV victims through counselling sessions. We don’t only take victims but perpetrators so that we change their mindset.”
Founder of 263 Mental Health, Ms Isabella Dzvova, said men should speak out.
“I am a mental health practitioner and I haven’t come across any man who comes to me seeking assistance.
“It is only at rehabilitation centres, where men get to speak out.
“I am urging men to be able to share their problems so that they don’t suffer on their own because at the end of the day suicide cases will continue to rise,” she said.
The case of Pastor Amadu Mambo (39) from Domboramwari in Epworth, Harare, is illustrative of this deep-seated problem.
The man of cloth said he suffered emotionally, financially and psychologically at the hands of his wife, until they divorced.
“I stayed with my wife for almost four years, and during those years we had one child. For the first two years we stayed together as a good couple and everything was well,” he said.
But the man of cloth said he started witnessing some changes in his wife, after his mother fell ill.
He says she became abusive, and would sometimes physically confront him.
Pastor Mambo said he expected his wife to look after her mother-in-law, but alas, she failed to provide support in her hour of need.
“In 2020 my mother got ill, and I expected my wife to help in looking after my mother, but she could not do that. She was always giving me excuses.
“We started having problems, because she would leave the house in the morning coming back the following day, claiming that she had gone to see some relatives,” he said.
Looking back at his experience, Minister Mambo urged men to speak out when they go through abuse.
“Realising that I was slowly dying, I told myself that there was a need to speak out so that I can get help. I was also a member of PaDare where I then later shared my problem and went through some counselling sessions and I have been receiving some help since last year,” he said.
Online Reporter