malvernmugadzikwa
Mudzimba
Dr Chisamba
Below are some of the most interesting letters sent by our readers last year.
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I am aged 34 and my wife is 28. We have been married for three years and we stay with my parents.
The relationship between my spouse and my mother is a nightmare as the two are always at each other’s throat. My mum always reminds her that she is just as good as a lodger.
I feel trapped when these two start arguing. Even my father says he is tired.
My wife and I are gainfully employed and we take care of my parents because they are both retired.
My brother, who used to stay at home, left with his family for the same reason. Now, they rarely come home.
If we leave, who will take care of them? My brother and I are their only children.
I feel sorry for my wife because some of the things mum says are uncalled for.
This is now affecting my marriage and my relationship with my in-laws, who are nothing but good to me. When my wife does things for me, my mum tells her off and says they are substandard.
My mother is a problem, even my dad is henpecked. How do I get around this? We all want peace.
Response
Your issue is rather straightforward. You need to move. If your other sibling could do it, why can’t you? Keeping the peace is important and this will be a big step in the right direction.
Try to get your sibling to pitch in towards setting up a fund for their upkeep. Also, get them a helper. It is a shame this is what it has come to but it has to be done
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Dating a pastor is boring
I am dating a divorced pastor who is always moody and very arrogant. We have a 14-year age difference, which I am not very comfortable with.
My problem is he does not show love at all; we hardly have any fun. Our correspondence leaves a lot to be desired.
If I do not call or text him, he keeps quiet; there is no reciprocation at all. I am also a pastor but in a different denomination.
Amai, what I fail to understand is this person wants us to be married as soon as possible. Please advise me.
Response
They say age is just a number but here it seems to be a real problem. The definition of fun is different for both of you.
Since he is a divorcee, perhaps he feels he has seen it all. Why not go for counselling?
You need a mediator to try to resolve this. The lack of communication and effort on his part is also a cause for concern.
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I want to follow my passion
Thank you so much for The Sunday Mail column.
I am an 18-year-old high school learner. I love arts subjects and related programmes with a passion, but I do not get any support from my parents.
They want me to be a medical doctor because I am also doing well in sciences.
Inasmuch as I need their input, I do not want to be forced into doing something that I am not passionate about.
With all due respect, I think it is a boring job and more of a vocation.
When I visualise my future, I see myself as a great musician. I love the entertainment industry.
Each time we talk about this, I end up having verbal fights with my parents. It is unfortunate that they think I am getting this influence from bad friends, especially marasta.
How do I make them understand? I am the only boy and the last-born in a family of five.
Response
Greetings young writer. I am glad that you are doing well in school. It is important to follow your passion, as well as strike a balance with your parents.
Which school do you go to? Is career guidance available? If so, the counsellor must have a sit-down with your parents and explore the options available.
They may be hanging on to the medical doctor dream because they are not aware of the new opportunities in the arts sector or other emerging markets. It is important to be well-informed before making a choice. Marasta haana chaatadza.
Push for this idea even if it means finding an external career guidance counsellor.
I am sure there is a path that can leave both you and your parents in a good space. Keep excelling in your academics. The sky is the limit!
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