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Dear Tete Barbara
My daughter is 14-years-old , beautiful and intelligent but I think she is a liar who just wants to see my wife gone.
Her mother, who I divorced a few years ago must be the source of all the accusations against my new wife.
Almost once a week I must defend my wife against my daughter who claims that my wife is a cheat, a witch or of being mean. Help …..who do I choose?
Tete Responds
The good news is that you do not have to choose any one of the two.
You can not do that! Your daughter is your offspring and your wife is your partner and for that reason you shouldn’t have to feel like you have to be biased towards one.
Remember that you are the parent to your daughter therefore you must exercise some authority as such without losing the love.
Sit down with your child and find out how she felt when you brought her new mother home. Find out if she resents either you or any other individual for the change in her life.
Sometimes the tantrums are as a result of a deep-rooted problem that needs to be addressed.
Your daughter loves you but she needs to feel that you haven’t replaced her. Make time to do things she likes to do and then make time to spend together as a family.
Tell your daughter that you love her and also show her that you love your wife. Teach her to respect her stepmother but if there are issues that need ironing out make sure they are addressed.
Create happy memories together and allow her and her stepmother to find each other in their own time.
Be Calm.
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