dyton mupawaenda
Mudzimba-Dr Rebecca Chisamba
Dear Amai, how are you? I am a 30-year-old woman and have been married to my husband, who is of the same age, for six years. We have one child.
When we married, my in-laws gave us a four-roomed house as a wedding gift, which is where we currently reside. Both my husband and I are gainfully employed.
We are interested in entering the transport business, as it currently seems very lucrative.
To raise the necessary capital, we decided to sell our house and use the proceeds to launch the venture.
Since we are still young, we feel we can always buy another home later — perhaps in a low-density area.
However, my in-laws are firmly against us selling the property. My question is: Why are they so concerned? I feel they should no longer have a say in our affairs.
To make matters more difficult, my husband seems to have changed his mind after they intervened. What can we do to move forward with our plan? Please advise.
Response
I am well and thank you for reaching out. Let me begin by saying that you are a very fortunate couple. Receiving a house as a wedding gift provides a foundation that makes starting a new life significantly easier.
Your in-laws sound like incredibly considerate people.
While the house is legally yours, they are simply fulfilling their roles as responsible parents by guiding you against making a rushed decision.
To be fair, it is rarely wise to sell a primary residence to fund a transport venture; the business could easily become a liability or fail entirely.
A house is a major acquisition — this is why homeowners are respected as “landlords”. You were fortunate enough to receive yours on a silver platter and replacing it will not be easy.
I strongly recommend seeking advice from professional business experts. Consider starting small with a more reasonable amount of capital rather than going all-in from the very beginning.
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Stranger than fiction
Dear Amai, I am a 34-year-old man and a father of two beautiful children.
I was previously married for five years, but it was a rocky union; we were simply two very different people.
Although our relatives tried their best to help us reconcile, we eventually decided to divorce mutually and committed to co-parenting.
Over the last five months, however, we discovered that the love between us is still very much alive. We are now back together and deeply happy.
We want to remarry — not just for the sake of our children, but because we truly want this for ourselves. We have informed our tetes on both sides, but we have, unfortunately, not received their blessings. In fact, both families are currently ignoring us. Amai, please help. What should we do when everyone is turning their backs us?
Response
Hello, your story sounds like the plot from a Nollywood movie. Admittedly, such things have been known to happen.
Understanding love and marriage can be tricky at times. In your case, you are not blaming outsiders, as is usually the case.
Both sides of the family tried their best to make it work; that is why they feel puzzled and used. If you felt like two different people just five years ago, what has changed now?
When you dated before you got married, did you ever feel a connection?
Please go for professional counselling, really establish if it will last this time. Take your time, do not rush. For now, continue dating and establishing the true nature of this reunion.
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Maiguru wants me
to be evicted
I hope I find you well. I am a single man aged 28. I have a degree and I also did several other postgraduate courses. I have applied for work and gone for several interviews, but I never agreed to any job offer because I felt they were not fair. I feel overqualified.
I am staying with my eldest brother and his family.
A few days ago, he told me that he was getting annoyed with me, accusing me of not taking life seriously because I am being looked after well.
He has given me six months to either get a job or go to our rural home and help our parents.
I suspect this push is coming from his wife. Should I talk to amaiguru? I am looking for a job that suits my qualifications, not something to get by.
Response
Hello writer, I am very well and thanks for inquiring. I normally do not pick sides but, in this instance, I will go with what your brother is saying.
He is making a lot of sense. Stop cherry-picking jobs; the job market is difficult to break into already.
Your brother and his wife will not look after you indefinitely. Where is your pride in all this?
Get a job and use it as a stepping stone; the exposure will help get the ball rolling. It will also help you for the time being. Avoid getting kicked out. I wish you all the best.
Feedback: beckychisamba @gmail.com
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