adminSINCE in my last two columns we have been concentrating on tips for being on top of the game in that age old and noble profession, being a smart smankani, today we want to try to open up a little bit, and also give an expose to another profession which is partner to this one.
This one is called being a “one day nginga,” and I am fortunate that I have once been a holder of the championship in this one.
Please note I said “one day nginga,” and not full-time, and the reason I want to concentrate on this one rather than the full-time one is that this is the toughest of all the shades of being a nginga, as it demands specialised tact.
And so, the full-time nginga is the financially successful person who has all comforts at their fingertips, a fat bank account, a nice car, a nice house with an expensive security wall and electric gate, domestic servants, and sometimes a dog or two.
Well, the one day nginga usually doesn’t have all these fancy trappings, the nice house, car and everything, and his fame is always like umlilo wamaphepha, here today and gone tomorrow.
But how does one get this so exciting status that is usually the talk of the town? Yes, it is exciting, as it gives a spring to one’s step once you are accorded it. Ask me and I will tell you. And usually it is a weekend one.
The first trick is to save a little money. This might take time as getting money for the aspiring one day nginga is usually not an easy thing, but the point is that on Saturday afternoon when guys hit the bars and bottle stores, you must be having enough to buy yourself not only some drinks but lots of them.
And when you start buying, you must take care that you have your own smankani, maybe one or two of them whom you can take care of for the whole day, as these will be the ones who will honour you with the status of being the one day nginga.
Yes, there has to be somebody who gives you the status, as you don’t do that yourself, but like I said in my other article, the one day nginga has to watch this guy carefully just like the super nginga does, as this is the person who spills the beans about your secrets, and sometimes can be found to be the one who laughs at you the most behind your shoulder.
Now this is the golden tip that most one day smankanis miss. As we said you must always be acutely aware that you are the kind of guy who rarely gets money to spend, maybe once a year if not two, so you always have to be careful of this one thing — watch out you don’t spend everything in one hour which you saved in one year.
Blowing all savings or salary in one day might sound like fun, but it is the reason why most one day ngingas like us will be having long faces the following day and going around saying “eish madoda.”
Okay, the trick is to find a place in your wardrobe or under your bed where you can hide the money you leave at home, and also make sure you don’t sneak back for it once the guys you are spending on start praising you or clapping at you at the bar and you discover you like the feeling but you have run out of cash.
Stopping yourself from going back home to “finish” your money takes a lot of will power, but you can do it, especially if you pray hard.
But never make the mistake of leaving your money at home with somebody else, as sometimes the one day nginga can have a weak moment and end up waking that person in the middle of the night to take back the rest of the cash to go and spend it, which usually might result in a fight if the person is your wife.
And so, these are the tips for being a one day ngiga, but the last tip I will give you dear readers is, carefully identify if you have any of these habits I have just been describing to you, and if you have, then remove them from yourself and throw them into the nearest bin, and you will become a better person who smiles every day.
Adios, and next week, no more tips, you are now graduates.
Online Reporter