adminCELLPHONES, are a great thing for all of us especially those having extra-marital affairs. We can reach out and communicate with whoever we please, wherever we are. I for one have become dependent on my cellphone for the ability to communicate when I feel the need. Cellphones are not only a great invention for those who like the idea of convenience; they are invaluable to those attempting to carry out their daily business. In as much as cellphones make our lives easier and we are able to do as we please, there is a down side to them.
Each time I am driving down the streets and find myself stuck behind someone going at 15mph below the speed limit, my first thought is that person needs to get off their cellphone! And sadly I am always right.
A couple of weeks back as I walked through an airport hall I saw a man pacing back and forth, waving his hands while he was on his cellphone in a voice that bounced off the walls 30 yards away. I was thinking to myself, that is why they never allow people to make calls with their cellphones on flights because it would be chaotic.
These days you walk into a restaurant and you notice a couple seated and you notice that they really are not enjoying this opportunity together, because one is patiently waiting for the other to stop talking or texting on the cellphone or they are both stuck on their phones. I do not get it though and I guess I never will.
I remember back in the day, I mean those days when you could go to a movie or to church and not worry about being distracted by ringing phones or by the white glow of someone texting a friend? How I miss those good old days, only to a certain extent though.
We used to have a small gadget called a walkman, a video camera, a regular camera and a computer, but now, they are all in one small cellphone. That is great! Please do not get me wrong but having said that, cellphones are stunting many people’s social skills, conversational skills, and especially their dating and cheating lives. We all have been guilty of relying on cellphones as a security blanket or a friend, but they should not hold us back from developing real relationships with our partners.
There are countless great things cellphones can be used for in daily life. However, when they intrude into relationships or dating in a way that is hurtful, there is a problem. Let’s not be slaves to our phones, let’s live more in the real world than the virtual one we create, and we will have better, more lasting relationships.
Intimacy is hard to achieve or maintain when your phone keeps beeping with alerts, notifications and email reminders. With constant, merciless distraction, our smartphones have come to replace deep-felt, long conversations in view of non-urgent, shallow tasks; retweeting a funny tweet, updating your Facebook status for the 100th time or posting a picture on Instagram. Infact, some people talk more about their relationships on Facebook than they do face-to-face with the person they are actually in a relationship with. At times the partner is clueless about what is going on because the next person is busy venting on Facebook instead of talking to their partner.
We live in a world where we are becoming so obsessed over how our lives look to others through the digital lenses that we forget how significant it is to live, invest and relish in the present moment and the reality we are in. We always want to post pictures on social media and update status when we feel we have something profound to quote and have it as a status update.
It is sad how you can be in the same room with your partner and they are drowned in their phone and can hardly talk to you without chuckling or smiling at their phone. I love technology and I am sure a lot of people do because sexting, or sending sexually suggestive nude or nearly nude photos and videos via cellphone has never been this easy.
I have written on this column about the capability of Facebook and other social media to threaten relationships. They provide a sense of instant gratification that stimulates our brain’s reward centres, offering quick hits of innovation that can be downright addictive as they allow us to connect with friends, co-workers, and even former or new flames, fostering an immediate and intense sense of intimacy that can lead us to romanticise these connections. At best, you are giving your energy to these digital distractions, not your partner and at worst you could be setting the stage for emotional infidelity.
However, I think technology allows us to be constantly connected to the world, but it can also make us even more disconnected from each other. I also liked the comment from a reader who pointed out, “Anything that becomes a necessity has the ability to become an idol.” In other words, you can become so attached to your smartphone that it basically becomes the most important thing in your life: “If you can’t live without a gadget . . . throw it away. If a gadget is absorbing most of your leisure time . . . throw it away!”
Of course, it is unrealistic to ditch your smartphone altogether, especially if you also need it for work but there are things you can do to use it wisely.
Next week we are talking cellphones in marriages are they personal or should they be accessible to both of you? Let’s keep talking email [email protected]
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