adminHello guys I greet you with a heavy and head-pounding hangover from the long cold spell, which however, still made the ice-cold bottle irresistible no matter how biting winter was.
As I nursed the bottle of the holy waters, a lot of so unholy developments have been taking place and could not escape my gaze, which as you all might be aware by now, never gets foggy or hazy no matter how much of one too many I might imbibe.
Who Am I?
From the bar-stool, I have observed that there is this funny old character who seems to have been taken from an old comic who still thinks he is relevant to the political scene, no matter how irrelevant he has become to his erstwhile buddies and indeed the nation at large.
With the political winter having settled perennially in his backyard, we thought it was high time for the wobbly political reptile to go into hibernation for good and never show up again in this game that has relegated him to the dust-bin.
We hoped he would swallow his pride, and salvage a little bit of it, if he still has any, and retire to the netherworld where he rightly belongs, but not so for this one.
The old bloke who used to enjoy some influence at the top of the political echelons still believes that he deserves to be in the game no matter how much the people who are the owners of the game no longer deem him necessary to be in the relay.
This is the man whom, once you pass on the baton, he will rush with it into the mountains and blow the whistle from the top of the mountain proclaiming that he is the winner. What a sorry sight he cut when he appeared in public this time around, scruffy and disheveled, like a tramp, to say the least!
He is a gonner for real and the sooner someone whispers to him (preferably of the fairer sex that he so much adores) the better. In fact we should not be dignifying his idiocy by even featuring him on this esteemed column. Who am I, some people may beg to know?
Holiday blues
To most of us, holiday time is time for throwing caution to the wind, be merry and getting together with the family and the guys at the watering hole.
It is a time for everything good, for as long as you don’t drink your wits faculties out, to the extent of forgetting your name and mistaking your leg for your arm and calling your mother-in-law your sweetheart.
Small (or is it smell) houses also capitalise on this time to make the most out of their bag of tricks in order to please the men who seek favours (you know the kind of favours I mean!) from them all in the name of satiation.
It is that time when the kids of the small house are back home from holiday so there will be a lot of demands and the man from the other home who has his own family to look after and please with all and sundry, is easy catch and is supposed to be provider for the small-house kids.
So sugar-coated has the term “Daddy” become to the extent some of these men are bewitched by it when it is whispered in their ears which never hear any good advice which they spurn as potash choosing to seal the ears from the hollers of their wives, kids, friends and relatives to see the light of day and steer away from their extra-marital affairs.
If you are one of those married women with such a man, you have to pray that he will be with you this holiday since the small house is planning a long voyage with him to her mother’s rural place back yonder in the back of I don’t know where!
Shady lists
They say if they can’t blow your horn, then do it for yourself. Such has become the fashionable thing among a section of society which has come up with the misleading idea of compiling a list of what they deem as the-who-is-who in the various spheres of life. If you are a failed model, businessman, sports person, politician, etcetera, and you feel you were denied a chance to make it into the A listers, then you can come up with your own list of achievers, with your name at the top of the list, of course. And with the help of the social media, which is the craze these days, you can wake up with a big smile after people start greeting you as they never did before.
Bra Gee flinches at such a silly idea.
If people don’t recognise me for who I am, then to hell with that, for I have nothing to lose for as long as the hoary Old Ageless Man Above still recognises me and blesses me with the few dols to grab my beloved bottle (I am not being blasphemous, get me right).
Of prostitutes and police
So the lady of the night who is a thigh vendor beat the daylights out of the cop for unpaid services rendered? Have some members of the force stooped this low?
At first, they were asking for money as bribes, now it is anything sex to groceries . . . The handcuffs should be abused to force people into doing things undesirable and out of the line. If you need sex, make sure you have your money and do it in private and in a decent manner, and you should desist from abusing the hallowed uniform. Still on sex, someone should also know that when you make a sex tape, tomorrow when you wake up trying to straighten things out, ‘no one will buy that’.
Last call
A chicken walks into a bar. The bartender says “We don’t serve poultry!” The chicken says “That’s OK I just want a drink.”
Till next week, bottoms up!
Facebook: Bra Gee, Email: [email protected], Twitter:@brageesbar
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