adminBAR TALK with Bra Gee
Dreams can come true and there are no age limits or size constraints when it comes to self-delusion. Your mind can take you to places depraved, lascivicious and even criminal in nature. In your dreams you can be the best politician, the best lover and the ruler of the world. The problems come when you announce your dreams to the world without first separating reality from night visions.
But then again, this guy we are talking about has never been famous for his brain function, so we are not really surprised by the latest episode in his dream journal, but we still find it funny.
Yes, we have been having a good laugh at good old Morgan, and his total lack of embarrassment at admitting that he dreams of returning to the glorious old days when his position and influence guaranteed that he could select from a line-up of Leocadias, Elizabeths, Nonsis and whoever pushing and shoving to be at the front of the queue for his bedroom.
Of course we sympathise with the poor guy, especially after Elizabeth told the world that after losing out on the election the man soon also lost out on closely a rhyming word.
We have come to realise that the man has a one track mind. So we understand his urgent need to get back into the PM’s office.
But really, Morgan, even if age is no hindrance to dreaming, surely you are old enough to know the difference between dreams and realistic options. Such dreams are only good for keeping yourself company in the loneliness of a wifeless night.
They are not for public sharing because even the little children playing in the effluent from burst sewers in Matapi while Mahachi pays himself handsomely every month know that it is just a pipe dream.
And then we move on to our favourite point of discussion at the usual place. Yes, we are talking of the ever increasing clique of mostly men who claim a direct line to God. If the seer was misquoted all those months ago why did he have to wait until it was clear that the prophecy was total bull before suing the publisher of the story?
Was it because he could have been waiting to capitalise on the benefits should the allegedly bogus prophecy have turned out to be true?
And what is he planning to do with the money if he should ever get it — provide more miracle cash for the believers?
On the other hand why would a man who claims direct links to a higher authority depend on earthly courts? Surely he can just tell the man upstairs to deal with these impudent upstarts for the alleged derailment of the work for His kingdom?
Anyway what sort of followers does he have anyway, who would be swayed to forego their eternal saving over a football prediction?
Staying with the topic of the seers, I must say that we are really offended by the assertions of those West African people who say they are planning a trip here to unmask what they term a pretender.
First of all, are they done with the hosts of pretenders in their own country? They have been dared at home and have done nothing.
Secondly what makes them think that we need their help? What business is it of theirs if thousands of Zimbabweans choose to believe that a man of flesh and blood is holiness personified? Who has ever said that religious inclination needs provenance and evidence or logic?
Why are they like Lawino in her famous song, questioning why people who have forsaken ancestor worship as stupid heathen superstition are still so ready to believe that a grown up man can grow wings and fly? Just in case they have missed the news, we are here to tell them that we need such people right now because as Karl Marx pointed out years ago, certain social conditions and religion love each other.
And if they are really powerful, why bother travel all the way? Why not just send their lightning bolts to strike the alleged pretender during one of his alleged miracle sessions?
Then the media would have something to write about as they quote eye witnesses describing the pyrotechnics of real African magic happening, just like in the Nollywood movies.
While on the topic of media we might as well talk about matters that intrude in our homes every day. Would someone at Pockets Hill tell the newsreaders that there is such a thing as an appropriate time not to smile?
Yours truly was totally flabbergasted to see the morning news anchor give a huge smile as she wrapped up the main news this past Wednesday with a reference to the horrifying report of the sodomising of an 11-year old by a 14-year old.
Maybe Bra Gee is totally daft in failing to see any humour in that report. But this is nothing new, even the anchor or the main news at night also sees it fit to deliver tragic news with all his teeth showing in an unbecoming grin!
We talked about it in the usual place and we agreed that we miss the good old days when those two women were fired from the station for bursting out into guffaws while presenting a report of a baby dumped in a toilet.
Yes, some of us have the memories of elephants and we are not taken in by the position of the surviving part of the pair now claiming political persecution or something like that as the reason why she can no longer work in the country.
We are onto you, sisi.
US$147 000 just lying idle in the boot and you divide that by six we figure that in fair deal you are in for almost US$24 000.
Then you go and buy pieces of furniture instead of a house in some small town. And you keep the bag that contained the loot so that you can get arrested. Some people are just too stupid to be criminals!
Meanwhile we would like to know what all that money was doing just lying idly in the boot while the Finance Minister cannot find any cash to do anything with.
Till next week, bottoms up!
Online Reporter