Chronicle Editor
Bongiwe Nkomazana on Gender
SIMPLE science states that a baby is conceived by two people and in simple words, these two people are equally responsible for this baby. How then does one of them have the right to take time off to be with the baby while the other does not? How does the other get to continue with life as if something so significant did not just occur in their lives while the other’s life stops completely? I honestly believe that paternity leave is necessary. In Zimbabwe, a father cannot take time off from work in the name of having a new born. A study done by Cornell University shows that policies that ensure fathers have the support they need to prioritise their family responsibilities, while also meeting work demands, can significantly increase the personal and economic well-being of their families and that paternity leave can promote gender equity at home and at the workplace.
My cousin had his first baby last year in October. The baby is a photocopy of him and you can just tell how in love he is with this human being. He works in Victoria Falls and because paternity leave does not exist here, he missed his son’s birth and had to hit the road back to work too soon after that. He is getting the hang of being a dad but I can only imagine the difference that paternity leave would have made. Before you come at me with the whole men and women are not the same and so 50/50 will never work banter, hear me out.
I read somewhere that there were talks a some time ago on how Zimbabwean fathers would be given paternity leave in order to assist the mothers at home. This framing of words displays our mind frame as a people. Most of us truly believe that a father assists the mother with the children. However, in actual fact, a mother is the one who should assist the father with his children. A fortnight ago, I brought up how, in theory, all children belong more to their fathers than they do to their mothers. It therefore goes without saying that the dad is primarily responsible for them until and unless that responsibility is legally taken away from him. My point is paternity leave is not necessary for men to ‘‘help out’’ any woman but it is necessary for them to be able to carry out their fatherly duties for their new born.
These responsibilities include making sure the baby’s environment is safe, baby supplies are in check and that the baby’s mother is happy and healthy enough to help him raise his child. Correct me if I’m wrong.
There are men who look forward to being dads most of their lives and some who vow to be the best fathers they can be when God grants them that blessing. As a result, bonding with their child from the get go becomes a need and takes priority. However, life has somehow taken away that privilege from fathers. We just assume that men do not have that urge to want to be attached to their baby the way a woman does and it is an unfair assumption. There is little that they can do before the baby is born but once it takes its first breath, there is a world of activities that fathers are advised to be a part of immediately. Did you know that it is vitally important for a father to interact and bond with his newborn to help the infant’s development and to reduce the risk of paternal postpartum depression? You heard right, men can get post partum depression too.
That being said, if these issues can be addressed for women and if a mother can be granted maternity leave to care for baby, I think that gender equality screams for the same to be done for fathers.
It always breaks my heart to see fathers who are not close to their babies. Often times, we accuse them of being uninterested but sometimes the problem is that they are shut out from the most critical stage of establishing that parent-baby bond. And so, another reason why paternity leave is important is because it gives dads the time to gain confidence and skills in their new role. Anxiety in new fathers is real. Some fathers completely shut down and will render themselves useless opting to engage with the baby when they are older. Women have the advantage of having carried the baby for nine months but new fathers are introduced to their child at birth and their nurturing instinct may take longer to develop.
If space is given for this instinct to develop, we would see more hands-on and less anxious dads in our society. Most mothers are not comfortable leaving their baby with their father also known as their co-parent/protector/provider, because the father has zero knowledge of how to feed or soothe his own offspring.
Similarly to other gender issues that have been heard and are well on their way to being resolved, fathers will have to come together to push this one.
It looks as if the issue of paid paternity leave is still a universal challenge with the two infamous stereotypes holding us back: being that men-mare the primary breadwinners and women are the primary caregivers of children.
The bottom line is that maternity and paternity leave alike are in the best interests of the baby. A baby is entitled to all the love in the world and that love source should not be limited to the mother only. At this point, we could start with optional short paid paternity leave while we get used to the fact that a father too has a role to play in the earliest stages of their baby’s life as well. After all, anyone can father a child, but being a dad takes active participation and special interest in a child’s life. The sooner more Zimbabwean men take up this role the sooner we will see improved outcomes in our children.
Online Reporter