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Zachary Aldwin Milkshake in the Boardroom
IT is Christmas, a time of the year characterised by vast quantities of giving. Many people only consider giving at Christmas and at the occasional birthday making it an uncommon past time. Let us look a little more closely at this particular phenomenon of giving.
Picture this scenario. A truck of relief food supplies pulls up at a refugee camp. It is swiftly mobbed by a starving crowd, the stronger kicking the weaker as they climb up over them. Each person grabs as much as they can carry before scampering off with their loot like a poor rendition of Gollum.
Now for scenario two. Same lorry, same refugees. This time though they queue in some semblance of order, each receiving their portion with thanks and gratitude. As they return to their dwellings you can see them sharing some of their meagre rations with others in the camp. If you were a donor which would you rather give to?
Closer to home you have all been to a dinner party or braai where you just know the person who will take the biggest piece of meat or the largest slice of cake. As you walk in you groan inwardly and think “who invited greedy-guts over there”.
Before he even reaches for the serving spoon you know his attitude and resign yourself to being a victim of his greed as he takes what he wants (not because he needs it, but because he is simply a taker).
We all know takers; people who, because of an entitlement personality, feel that they have a right to everything. These are the thieves of your time who when they ask for 30 minutes take two hours. These are the people who when they request an item of yours leave a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach because you know they will feel no obligation to return what they have “borrowed”. There is a word for people who take without compensation: thief.
The opposite of taking is not giving in this instance, it is receiving. Receiving is done with gratitude. Even if it is your right to receive what is offered (e.g. ZIMRA have a right to receive your taxes) it is done with dignity and respect for the other person.
If you are doing a job for someone for financial remuneration do not expect much in the way of thanks (you have your money don’t you) but you can still expect to be treated with a little courtesy and dignity by the recipient of a job well done.
Enough about receiving, let us switch to the actual act of giving. Some people say they are giving a gift, but in reality what they are doing is loaning you a burden. Aunt Matilda gives you a tea cosy for your wedding. You know Aunt M, and each time she visits you better dig out the tea cosy or she will ask about it and become offended that it is not there.
She never really gave you the tea cosy, she just found a place to store it. If she really gave it to you, without condition, then she wouldn’t mind if you gave it to someone else who needed it because it did not match your crockery. There are times when giving should be unconditional, what the person does with it once you have handed it over is not your concern.
You can either be a giver or you can be a person who lets others take things from you. Sometimes the person doing the taking is just a nasty piece of work who needs to be cut out of your life. I have no time for takers.
Other times it is merely a matter of your perspective that is wrong.
The person receiving is just an opportunity to give, they are not really trying to get one extra, you just perceive it that way. You have a choice to give. Giving of time, giving of money, of gifts, of effort is a choice that you can make every time you trade something out of your life.
Giving (rather than just handing over to a taker) creates a warm and positive feeling inside. That feeling of happiness that comes with giving is pretty similar to the one you get when receiving something, so rather than waiting around for people to give to you why not give things yourself. Then you are in control of your own happiness, and others get the pleasure of receiving from you. I have a friend who takes extra time to find the right gifts for people.
She does this because she understands that giving takes extra effort than merely handing over. Choosing to give opens you up to doing more that the bare minimum.
I look forward to the gifts the couple give because they are personal and match my personality. (Erin I promise I have not opened it early this year, it is still under the tree).
With your businesses think about what you can give with each transaction this year. You may not be able to add financial value, but a smile, a letter to your best clients, the occasional bargain, a pleasant shopping experience are all simple gifts you can give as we approach year end.
This festive season let us all strive to be better givers and better receivers (as opposed to mere takers). Let us become the conduit of joy and peace as what we are able to receive with one hand we can pass on with the other. Have a Merry Christmas everyone.
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