SHARP SHOOTER: The baboon that forgot its tail

Vukani Madoda

Wednesday this week marks one solid year since the disappearance of Itai Dzamara, that journalist-cum-activist-cum-missing-person who propagated the erroneous idea that President Mugabe could be removed unconstitutionally by staging a one-man sit-in at Africa Unity Square.

It is no coincidence that the Dzamara had embarked on his solo and futile mission around the time that the US extended illegal sanctions for another year and it is certainly no coincidence that after having seen that no one was taking notice of Dzamara’s Western-sponsored efforts, Washington may have targeted him for disappearance in a desperate bid to aggravate his unconstitutional cause.

It is no coincidence that Barack Obama’s government has also extended US illegal sanctions on Zimbabwe for another year and it is no coincidence that the US has become so anxious to get rid of Zanu-PF such that they have instigated a breakdown in the rule of law by having the likes of Dzamara calling for unconstitutional means to effect regime change.

That having failed, the US has gone a step further and promulgated politically-motivated violence by targeting Dzamara for disappearance in order to intimidate Zanu-PF by making it look as if President Mugabe’s Government poses a social and economic threat to the region.

It is against this background that Obama in his recent sanctions extension has shamelessly said that Zimbabwe represents an “unusual threat to US foreign policy”.

I mean, we may have stood our ground about our sovereignty and Independence but to say that we pose an “unusual threat” is certainly far-fetched.

The Americans, of all people, have the nerve to call Zimbabwe an “unusual threat” as if we are the ones who peddle lies about weapons of mass destruction so as to invade other nations.

Who on God’s green Earth believes that Zimbabwe poses any threat to any other nation in the world?

How can Obama, this Kenyan fellow, parrot the same gobbledygook created by George W. Bush?

Here is an instructive fable:

It was a year of drought and hunger like this year. The baboons were hungry and desperate and needed to come up with a plan to survive.

The baboons hatched a plan which was to convert one of their number to become like a human being so that he could marry a lady from a nearby homestead and stay there.

The task of the of the converted baboon was simple; he had to remember who he was and time and again he was supposed to find ways of getting food and water from the humans and taking it back to his fellow baboons, and water and then pretend to chase them away when they have had enough and their bellies were full.

The plan swung into motion and the converted baboon soon found himself living in the homestead.

However, to the utter dismay and frustration of the remaining baboons, the convert tried to be more human than the humans and treated his kith and kin with extreme harshness.

The convert enlisted the services of a regular baboon to help him keep the others at bay, and in exchange the latter got some food and water. The two conspirators then kidnapped a baby baboon who had become so distressed and hungry that he was demonstrating against the other baboons because their plan to provide him with food and water was failing.

And after abducting the baby baboon, the convert had the nerve to accuse the regular baboons of killing their own child and then even slapped sanctions on them.

However, one day, when the humans were gathered for a celebration of some sort, the baboons amazed everyone by coming down the mountain in an orderly manner and singing and calling out the convert, his ally and the kidnapped baby.

They held in their hands the tail that the convert had shed off when he converted and reminded these baboons where they really came from, that they did not belong in the system they were propping up.

Barack Obama and Harry Thomas Jr, we will deliver your tails very soon.

Dubulaizitha!

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