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Nhlalwenhle Ncube
Side piece agreement!
There are some real life issues which most people are not comfortable discussing publicly or acknowledging that they exist, but at the end of day leave others with heartaches. Since time immemorial, issues of side piece agreements have always existed and I find no harm in reminding those ‘‘involved’’ of terms and conditions because failing to abide by them causes heartbreaks.
Yes, I know someone is trying to figure out what the side piece agreement is all about. It is that agreement when you get involved in a relationship with someone knowing that he or she is married or got a commitment somewhere. Funny enough, these agreements have stretched to married women and it is no longer about men as was the norm.
Some married men and women are culprits as they go out and have relationships and that other person is the side piece. A ‘‘side piece’’ usually fills some needs which the main partner cannot. In this day and age, some people are beginning to talk bolder about their ‘‘side piece’’. It seems the society is slowly accepting change and getting to understand these people who choose to be the other woman or man.
For one to make his or her side piece feel loved and special, they always claim that their marriages are ‘‘complicated’’. Truth be told, when one accepts to be a side piece, they should know that they are the extra- curricular activity compared to the real life task that is their main piece. One has to be clever and understand that the other party will always tell them what they want to hear in order to keep them happy.
There is no problem in all that, but all am saying is that once you choose to be the side piece, can you please stick to your lane. Get to respect the other person and despite all the lies or truths you have been told, there is no need for you to start contacting the main piece. By spending some time and being intimate with her partner, you have punished her or him enough. You have to know that maybe she was also looking forward to being taken out and spending quality time with the partner, but all those favours were given to you. Even when she/he gets home, the partner is already tired as the energy was exhausted on you. The other party becomes sexually starved and therefore just stay away from her.
If you are a side piece you have to stick to your lane and never communicate with the other party no matter what happens. Even if someone gets to suspect or discovers that her partner is cheating on her, the last thing they expect is talking to whoever their partners are cheating with. It is the breaking point for many and no one can tolerate such disrespect.
The fact that you chose to be the other piece, you have to be strong and even when you are having problems with your partner, never stretch it and start to make it someone’s business. For example, there are some women when they get impregnated by their married partners who then start playing hard to get, they then rush to the wives. It is none of her business and not her baby at all. When you approach the wife, you are crossing to the wrong lane as the agreement you had was not with her, but your partner. There is nothing as hurting as knowing that your partner was having unprotected sex with another woman. When you are still in such a dilemma, then the exact woman confronts you, believe me, all that will be running in the main piece’s mind is imagining the two being intimate and that will probably leave her heart in pieces.
Anyway, getting pregnant is crossing to the wrong lane as well, so it is wise not to be pregnant at all. Bringing a baby into the equation complicates everything, for you and for him. Chances are that he will ask you to get rid of it, because he is not about to ruin his marriage or have a lasting reminder of his “indiscretion”. Even if he doesn’t ask you to be rid of it, think about yourself and how you will struggle to explain it to your family. Remember that you cannot marry him, so that potential solution is not available. Of course, if you think you can handle the situation, then go ahead. Good luck!
As a side piece, always focus on the stolen moments you spend with your partner and never breach the agreement by attempting to contact the main woman or man and tagging him or her on Facebook pictures.
Now, I’m not sure how to end this, because I cannot really say “enjoy being a side piece!”, but I will say this, even if you are a side piece, don’t plan to be one indefinitely. Know when to call it quits and do so for your own sanity and self-respect. There are lots of people who never thought they would be side pieces, who have now fallen into that hole. The sad part is that “hole” is bound by rules, so stick to your lane — whether said or unsaid.
derick.khumalo