adminAnne Ruthenburg : Marriage Doctor
HELLO there dear readers, I hope we find you well this week. Just like many of you, my week was a bit tough. I am not sure if it is because the holiday season is now over and reality of the dollar is hitting me, or if it is because we are getting into winter. Who knows, but we need to keep our heads high and support and encourage each other constantly.This week as promised, I opted to have a heart to heart with you. I have read each week as you have had heart to hearts with each other and this month particularly has concerned me a lot. We have had wives unhappy, husbands unhappy, mistresses stating their peace, and now just recently a child had to send me a message complaining about what is happening with his/her parents.
This is heartbreaking for me to say the least. So I will just have to have the heart to heart next week with you all. I thought it important to print this letter from one of your children at home so that you know they are in pain because some couples are behaving selfishly and immaturely. I have corrected the child’s spelling here and there to put sense into some of the sentences, so that it is readable. I have spoken to the child directly to make sure they are in a safe environment at home. Anyway, here is the letter …..
Dear Doctor M, I hope you can help me. I need you if possible to give my mom and dad some medicine so that they can heal their marriage. Please do not tell them I wrote to you, because they will beat me. My friend gave me her phone and your number from the newspaper because she said her sister is always saying you help people every Friday. I hope you will answer me soon, as I am very very sad.
I sit in the playground everyday with nothing much to eat because my father does not always give my mom enough money for her to buy enough bread for us for school and for home. I will be watching other kids laughing and playing with each other and sometimes they share with me their sandwich. They try and encourage me to play, but I say no. Not because I do not want to, but because I am unhappy. I am unhappy because at home things are not well.
I do not want to go home at the end of the day after school. I drag my feet and sometimes play until it is late on the street with my friends. I know I am going to be shouted at or beaten, but I do not care. At least I do not have to spend hours and hours listening to the problems between my mother and father.
When I get home, mom will be waiting and as usual, she has all these things she wants me to do, or to clean or to buy. I do not know why she did not do it herself, what was she doing the whole day. Then I am expected to study and pass, yet I do not even get a chance to study until late at night when everyone is sleeping. And then I can’t study because people complain that the lights are chewing into the electricity bill. But that is not even the problem because I can try and study at school.
The problem is not just mother, with her short temper and her constantly making us work and her nonstop complaining about our father . . . our father too is a big problem. He is never home and when he is home, he is either drunk or quiet. He and mother are always shouting at each other. Mother starts the shouting, but I think it is because dad just is never home and does not respond positively to her when she speaks to him.
Dad also gets quite rough or violent when he has had a bit of alcohol and we kids hate it, so does mother. Sisi, the maid is always trying to make us laugh and happy to distract us when my parents shout at each other, but it does not help, we can hear.
They say horrible things to each other and they accuse each other of doing stuff with other people. Mother is always throwing and breaking things when they fight and dad is always pushing things and hitting the wall. I am always afraid and I thank God every time my dad eventually leaves the only sound we then hear is our mother crying. My heart breaks when my mother cries, but Sisi says I cannot go and comfort her, we have to sleep. Sisi says that it is something for the adults to sort out.
After all that noise, if they do not physically fight, my dad usually walks out and does not come home for hours, sometimes for days. I do not know where he goes, but mom says he goes to his mistress.
My little brother always cries too, but eventually he falls asleep in Sisi’s arms. I do not sleep because I will be waiting for father to come home. I stay up the whole night, my eyes will be closed, but I will be awake. I pray to God to help my mother and to bring my father home. I sometimes ask God why he allowed us to be born because my mother always shouts at dad saying she would never have married him if we had not been born . . . she means me!
So I guess I am to blame for their unhappiness. I guess this is why they fight. I want to tell them I am sorry. I want to tell them I will try and be a good child. I want to tell them that I will try and do good in school even though I cannot concentrate, I will be tired from lack of sleep. I want to tell them that I do not mind going to stay with Gogo if that will make things better. I want to tell them that I am sorry that I made them hate each other by being born. I never planned it. I want to tell them I am sorry I was such a problem baby. I want to tell them that I am sorry that because of me and my brother they cannot live their lives as they want to. I want to tell them that they do not have to worry about feeding us too much if there is no money. We will not complain. I just want them to stop fighting because of me and to start loving each other. I won’t be a problem anymore I promise. And when I turn 16 I will find a place to go so that they do not have to struggle anymore. I know it is in five years time, but right now I am too young to fend for myself, but I will try. I promise Doctor please tell them for me!
After this folks, I cannot wait to speak to married couples and not in the next few weeks. That is it from me this week, let us meet for a heart to heart next week. God bless!
Wedding Doctor can be contacted at Osprey Villa Luxury Wedding Venue, Penhalonga or messaged/whatsapped on 0772 933 845 or Email: [email protected].
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