Online Reporter
You Can’t Make This Up!
THIS time the prestigious “Mampara of the Week” award goes to none other than Danda Tinashe Tinotenda, the 21-year-old Zvishavane cashier who decided that US$13 422 in company funds was simply too lonely sitting in the till and needed the warm, personal embrace of his own pockets.
Employed at Farm and City Centre in Zvishavane, Danda was entrusted with a simple task between September 16 and 24, 2025: to collect cash from till operators and deposit it into two ZB Bank accounts.
But our visionary mampara looked at that responsibility and said: “No, no, no. Why deposit money into a bank when I can bank on myself?”
Instead of doing the job he was paid for, he allegedly rerouted the US$13 422 for “personal use” — a phrase that covers everything from groceries to wild dreams of becoming a self-funded man.
Sadly for Danda, he forgot one tiny detail: Companies actually check whether deposits are made.
Farm and City Centre noticed the money had not reached the bank, launched an internal review, and — surprise, surprise — discovered his financial creativity.
Police were called, bank statements were attached to the docket, and soon Danda was making his way to court, not the bank.
The court, clearly impressed by his bold entrepreneurial spirit, handed down a 36-month sentence.
But, because local courts are generous to young mamparas with big dreams, nine months were suspended for good behaviour.
Another nine months were suspended on condition he pays back the full US$13 422 by November 30, 2025.
That left him with an effective 18 months behind bars — technically less than the time it takes to save US$13 422 the honest way.
Meanwhile, the National Prosecuting Authority politely reminded the nation that abusing entrusted funds carries “serious consequences”, a message Danda likely now understands more deeply than any motivational speaker could ever teach.
