The joys of fatherhood

celebrating mothers, others also helped the world give just one day to stop and think of the role played by fathers in our lives.
With evolving gender roles the father has become more than just a provider and a disciplinarian. He has to go the extra mile to be a true dad to his brood.

So what makes a man a great father in the eyes of his children?
There are several traits that came up in several interviews carried out with people of both genders and varying ages for this article.
A father should be a hero figure, someone who you can look up to in one way or the other, a standard for morals that one can refer to for life. He may not be perfect but he needs to command his children’s respect.

A man who spends time with his offspring is also highly valued by the latter as he is bound to be accessible and a friend rather than one who is always seen from a distance.
Just being there as kids grow up is something that most children treasure about their fathers even after they are grown up to become parents themselves.
Children should also feel that a father strives to give them the best that he can in terms of material provision and love.

This is not to say that everyone expects their father to be a bottomless ATM who will forgive anything.
Jack Kuruneri, who is in his thirties, says that for him his father will always be a symbol of honour, strength, love and the meaning of true manhood.
“My father got my mother pregnant when they were both still very young. He could have refused responsibility and run away but he did not.

“It was fortunate that his parents also proved supportive and he managed to finish secondary school and go on to become an artisan.
“After he started working he made sure that my mother also completed her schooling and put her through college to become a teacher. During the time my mother was away both my grandmothers wanted to look after my sister and I but my father insisted that it was best if we remained with him.

“We had no maid and my father would do all the cooking and cleaning. None of my friend’s fathers would ever have done that.
“I have learnt two very important lessons on life from my father. The first one is that owning up to your actions is the only way you can move forward. And the second lesson is that a strong man is not afraid to love and show that affection.”

Jack says that he has no need for a special day to realise how precious his father is but all the same he accepts the sentiment of the day and he will be taking his own two children to spend the day at his parents’ place.
For Charity Mutema (not her real name), a young woman from Sentosa in her early twenties, Father’s Day is a bitter-sweet time. She says she has very little in common with her male parent, who has given her nothing beyond her existence, not even his last name.

“My mother raised me as a single parent and my father has always been a remote figure. He never cared about my welfare and he has put all his effort towards raising the children he had with the woman he settled down with after breaking up with my mother.
“He is a stranger to me and I really relate to one musician who years back made the headlines after he decided to spend time getting fuel which was in short supply then, than going to his father’s funeral.
“I think it takes more than just fathering a child to be a real father and this day just makes me realise how fortunate it is for me that my mother was strong enough to raise me on her own.”

On the worst things that a man can do in the eyes of his children, abuse, sexual, physical and emotional came up tops.
Failure to educate children in preference to drinking and maintaining good time companions are the next items on the list of How-not-to-be-a-good-father.
Clothing items ranging from complete outfits to ties and socks are among the items that most people are planning to give their fathers tomorrow.

Books and bottles of favourite drinks are other most preferred presents.
Bob Macwood, a man in his 50s says, for him the most important present is having his three chidlren who are all grown up visit or call just to tell him that they love him and that he is the greatest father in the world.

“Knowing that you have helped raise a helpless baby into decent human beings has to be the best feeling in the world,” he summed up.
Background to the day

Father’s Day is a celebration honouring fathers and celebrating fatherhood, paternal bonds, and the influence of fathers in society. It is celebrated on the third Sunday of June in many countries and on other days elsewhere.

It complements Mother’s Day, the celebration honouring mothers and typically involves gift-giving, special dinners to fathers and family-oriented activities.
The first observance of Father’s Day actually took place in Fairmont, West Virginia, on July 5, 1908.

It was organised by Mrs Grace Golden Clayton, who wanted to celebrate the lives of the 210 fathers who had been lost in the Monongah mining disaster several months earlier in Monongah, West Virginia, on December 6, 1907.

It’s possible that Clayton was influenced by the first celebration of Mother’s Day that same year, just a few kilometres away. Clayton chose the Sunday nearest to the birthday of her recently deceased father.
Unfortunately, the day was overshadowed by other events in the city, West Virginia did not officially register the holiday, and it was not celebrated again.

All the credit for Father’s Day went to Sonora Dodd from Spokane, who invented independently her own celebration of Father’s Day just two years later, also influenced by Jarvis’ Mother’s Day.
Clayton’s celebration was forgotten until 1972, when one of the attendants to the celebration saw Nixon’s proclamation of Father’s Day, and worked to recover its legacy. The celebration is now held every year in the

Central United Methodist Church .
Fairmont has now been promoted as the “Home of the First Father’s Day Service”.

A Bill to accord national recognition of the holiday was introduced in US Congress in 1913.
In 1916, President Woodrow Wilson went to Spokane to speak in a Father’s Day celebration and wanted to make it official, but Congress resisted, fearing that it would become commercialised.

Former US president Calvin Coolidge recommended in 1924 that the day be observed by the nation, but stopped short of issuing a national proclamation. Two earlier attempts to formally recognise the holiday had been defeated by Congress.

In 1957, Maine Senator Margaret Chase Smith wrote a proposal accusing Congress of ignoring fathers for 40 years while honouring mothers, thus “(singling) out just one of our two parents”.
In 1966, President Lyndon B. Johnson issued the first presidential proclamation honouring fathers, designating the third Sunday in June as Father’s Day.

Six years later, the day was made a permanent national holiday when President Richard Nixon signed it into law in 1972.
In addition to Father’s Day, International Men’s Day is celebrated in many countries on November 19 for men and boys who are not fathers. – wikipedia.