Online Reporter
You may have noticed, like I did, how in our tradition, when someone dies quite suddenly, people exclaim in disbelief: “But I was with him just recently… she even waved at me yesterday.” And . . . the inevitable phrases: “Life is fragile.” “It’s a waste of time to be self-centred.”
In those tender moments, ordinary interactions suddenly become sacred. A casual greeting. A shared joke. A quiet presence. What once felt routine is instantly treasured — because it can no longer be repeated. Similarly, most long-standing hostility dissolve at the news of death as those who once criticised begin to narrate only the good. Afa anaka, we say, meaning the deceased is now holy.
But what if we did not wait for loss to awaken love? What if we did not wait for death to soften our words? But treated each moment as valuable while it still breathes?
The Illusion of “Later”
One of the quiet traps that limits our becoming is the illusion that there will always be more time to apologise, to visit or to share love. We postpone kindness as though tomorrow is guaranteed. We take moments for granted, shrinking our capacity to love deeply.
Becoming who we are meant to be, requires awareness. Awareness that each conversation matters, each interaction counts and that this day will never return in the same form. When we understand that, the ordinary becomes sacred.
How Judgment Shrinks Us
Judgment feels justified in the moment. It gives us a sense of moral superiority, allowing us to freeze others in their worst moments. But judgment is heavy. The more we carry it, the less freely we move.
Here is what I discovered: judging others limits our own growth. It narrows our vision and hardens our hearts. A hardened heart cannot fully become. It resists compassion. It resists grace.
When we release judgment, we create space — not only for others to evolve, but for ourselves to expand.
The Mountain of the Flimsy Grudge
Many grudges begin small. A delayed call. A misunderstood comment. A moment of perceived disrespect. Yet we rehearse the incident, add assumptions and replay the scene until what was once minor becomes monumental — a mountain of hostility.
Here is the trap: every grudge consumes energy that could have fuelled purpose. Every bitterness blocks emotional flow. Hostility then becomes a silent thief of destiny.
Forgiveness is not weakness. It is strength. And it frees you to be who you were created to be.
Honouring the Living
We are skilled at honouring the dead. We gather. We speak beautifully. We remember generously. But becoming requires that we master honouring the living.
Speak the good while they can hear it.
Express gratitude while they can respond.
Clear hostility while reconciliation is still possible.
When we treasure each moment, we align with our highest selves. We stop living reactively and begin living intentionally. We stop postponing love.
The value of a moment is not measured by its grandeur, but by its presence. A smile. A listening ear. A sincere “thank you.” These are not small things. They are seeds of legacy.
Destiny is shaped in daily interactions.
Reflection of the Week
Who have you judged too harshly?
What small grievance have you allowed to grow beyond its size?
Awareness is the beginning of transformation.
Challenge of the Week
n Reach out to one person you have taken for granted and express genuine appreciation.
n Release one grudge; through conversation, prayer, journalling, or a conscious internal decision.
n In one interaction each day, practice full presence. Listen without rushing. See without judging.
Treat the moment as though it matters — because it does.
Affirmations
n I value each moment as a sacred gift.
n I release judgment and choose understanding.
n I refuse to let small grievances define my destiny.
Do not wait for absence to create appreciation. Do not wait for death to erase hostility. Overcoming is not only about conquering great obstacles; it is about mastering daily choices.
Choose kindness, forgiveness and presence now. Become on purpose — one moment at a time.
Mildred Mutize
Life Coach | Author | Speaker
Founder: Overcoming Institute
Visit: overcominginstitute.com
Email: [email protected] WhatsApp: +263 773 637 284
